Callen flashed a boyish grin. “If only Etarla appreciated me as much as you.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Have you told Harthon how you feel?” Merelda asked.
Such a simple question, yet it made me so uncomfortable.
I was intensely attracted to him, and I was allowing him to tug at the flouncy emotions that lived in my chest. But it was too soon to define those emotions, and I…I needed to know what he was thinking first.
Like that would ever happen.
The man was a vault.
Instead of sharing that, I countered, “Would you be happy if I was at his side?Princeps Harthon. A man with so much blood on his hands.” Not that I’d thought once about her approval when it came to me and him, but now that she was here and knew him, it mattered.
She answered my question with one of her own. “Is that what you know him as?”
“Of course not.”
“And whatdoyou know him as?”
“A good man.”
She raised her brows in a request for more.
I sucked in a breath, looking to the sky. “He’s clever and strategic. Ruthless in punishing those who are guilty. Intentionally intimidating to those who don’t know him. Bloodthirsty and deadly in battle. But at the same time, he isgood—to his people, his friends, to me. He wants to save this world, to lift us all out of our suffering.”
I glanced over to find Merelda’s brows were still at her hairline. Skies, she wasn’t letting me off easy.
“He…he’s opened my eyes to some things.Lotsof things,” I corrected. “And he gives me strength. Makes me see my own, believes in my ability to use it. This whole thing started with him forcing me into this role, but I realize now, that in doing so, he was forcing me to grow. Into someone better. More capable.”
“Not someone better,” Merelda corrected. Her tone was stern. “You were alwaysthisEtarla. He’s only given you access to the world you needed to embrace it.”
I bit my lip, considering that perspective. Maybe she was right. Or maybe she saw something in me that wasn’t really there. She was biased, after all.
A breeze washed through the garden, and I scanned the greenery for the colorful flash of butterfly wings. I’d been hoping the blue one from the other day would appear again so Merelda could see it, but there were no iridescent wings in sight.
“How are his kisses?”
I choked on my saliva. “I love you, but we are not having this conversation.”
Reminding me he was there, eavesdropping on this entire conversation, Callen whined, “But what if I want to know, too?”
“You’re friends with Harthon. Why don’t you askhim?”
He snorted. “Why don’t I just drive a dagger through my own heart while I’m at it? Harthon has always been private when it comes to women. He doesn’t share details. Never has.”
My eyes widened, my mind zeroing in on one word, and one word only.
Women, plural.
As in, not just Ana.
Realizing his mistake, Callen quickly added, “Not that he’s been with a lot of women. Well, not these days. Back in the day, he relieved his stress differently…” Trailing off, he cringed. “Really, it’s been none at all recently, except for, well, you. Hehasn’t had time for others. Not that time is what’s stopping him—I’m going to shut up now.”
A surge of jealousy hit.
Which was ridiculous. I always knew a man like Harthon would have women crawling into his bed. No one could blame him for taking part, especially when he wasn’t beholden to anyone.
