There was the whisper-soft brush of his lips against mine. So fleeting, it was more of a touch than a kiss, not that I knew what it was like to be kissed, but I wanted…I wantedmorefrom him.
Instead, cool air swept in as he released me. I opened my eyes in time to see him pull away and shift back onto his mat, his face unreadable and mine the complete opposite, because never in my life had I felt that type of anticipation, that type ofwant, and I—how didone just recover from something like that?
“It will be difficult getting into Two without being caught. If we can’t cut through the land, we’ll have to find a window between ocean storms and circle around by ship. It could take a few weeks to get to her, but we will be bringing her to the Citadel, where she’ll be safe and with you,” he rumbled in that dangerous bass, returning to our previous conversation as if what had just happenedhadn’t.
My earlier desire to fight was gone, the points he’d made regarding Merelda’s safety too strong to be denied. She would be safer with him, with us, in his city center. “Her name is Merelda. You’ll need to get her brother Marsik, too,” I said, voice trembling from the sensations that still lingered on my lips.
He nodded. “We’ll get them both. Now go to sleep. You won’t fall back into that dream.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’ll be here with you.”
Then he tugged me toward him and I went, not because I needed his warmth, but because I wanted to, whether or not it was a prudent thing to do.
I just wanted.
Chapter 20
When we returned to the Citadel four mornings later, it was in the peaceful quiet that suffused the streets before the sun rose. The rest of our travel had been uneventful but rushed. Despite his outer calm and small talk, it was clear Harthon wasn’t comfortable being away from the Citadel for such a long time, particularly with Koerlyn breathing down his neck.
It was also clear that our kiss was simply a secret of the night, not to be addressed or repeated. His hand still rested on my hip from time to time as we rode, but he’d otherwise maintained an objective distance, leaving me to sleep on my own the past few nights and treating our training sessions with the same businesslike regard from our first time. Meanwhile, our moment together replayed in my mind more times than I could count, as well as his promise to keep me and Merelda safe whether or not I helped him.
Never in my life had I pined over a man or a moment. I knew I was dangerously close to changing that.
“Koerlyn attacked two border villages over the course of three days, but we took them down easily,” North reported, flanked by Callen and Ana.
We sat around the table in the Citadel’s library, having come directly from the stables. In desperate need of a bath, I smelled of horse andsweat, but the serious expressions on their faces warned of bad news that needed to be shared.
“Too easily,” Callen added.
He and Ana had welcomed me back with relieved smiles, as if they were genuinely happy that our short adventure had left me in one piece. North had merely met my eyes with disinterested acknowledgment.
I supposed it was progress from a scowl.
“They were tests,” Harthon stated, rather than asked.
“He wants to learn where he can enter our Territory. I fear that continuing to beat him is going to encourage stronger attacks and more creative methods,” Ana said, proving exactly why she was Harthon’s minister. She may not charge into battle like Callen or North, but she was tactical in her own right.
“In the future, strategically failing his tests may be beneficial. If we fool him into thinking you have a weakness, we can anticipate his offensive,” North offered gruffly.
“And it would come at the expense of at least one village,” Harthon finished. The meaning of that settled over our conversation like a lead weight. “We can’t do that.”
“Then we’ll have to plan an offensive. We can’t simply wait for Koerlyn to figure out the best way to destroy us or grab Etarla. But of course, that all depends on whether or not we have a trip to plan into the Domus.”
Three pairs of eyes slid to me, and I just managed to stop myself from curling back into my seat. Here, I’d been afraid to have this conversation with Harthon. If only I knew I’d be having it with the four of them, instead.
“You don’t have a trip to plan right now,” I said, trying not to falter at the way Ana and Callen’s faces fell. Their disappointment brought the sour taste of guilt to my tongue.
Northrubbed at his eyes. “Well, we’re even more fucked than I thought we were.”
“What’s changed?” Harthon demanded.
Ana sighed, clasping her hands together. She didn’t attempt to soften the blow. “We have a crop plague. Our scientists reported it to us two days ago. It seems to have started in a northern village, but it’s quickly spreading.”
Harthon’s chest rose and fell on a deep breath. “All crops, or only some?”
“Potatoes, which are a majority of our people’s food. Grains are unaffected for now, but that could come later.”
