“I consider her my mother,” I said quietly.
“Then we should bring her to Fifth.”
Surprise ricocheted. Had I been wrong? Harthon was determined to enter Centralis, but he wouldn’t hurt a kind old woman to get there. Unless he would—
“For her protection,” he finished.
“Absolutely not.” My immediate reaction came out before I could think on it. Drag her so far away from home? We couldn’t do to her what was already done to me.
“Koerlyn has soldiers wandering Second. He’ll use her as leverage over you, over me,” he explained patiently.
As if I didn’t know that. “That’s exactly why I was trying to go home to her,” was my heated reply. The second I finished speaking, I wished I could swallow my words back down.
Before now, Harthon had likely assumed that I wanted to leave because I missed home and didn’t want to be involved in his quest. Both were truths, but they were weak motivators, not strong enough to keep me persistent in my efforts to return home. Now, like a fool, I’d admitted that concern for Merelda’s life was my main driver. He would know that this kind of motivation wasn’t one to fade. He would know that, unless I fulfilled my use soon, I would be running away to care for Merelda and keep her safe.
He would never drop his guard. He might even stop training me. If I ran without the ability to protect myself and Merelda, we would likely die.
Dammit.
“There is nowhere you can hide with her that will keep you safe,” he said, his voice turning hard with firm conviction.
“From you?”
His nostrils flared. “Me finding you first would equate tosaving you.If Koerlyn found you, he wouldn’t hesitate to inflict unimaginable pain on you and use this woman to meet his ends. But you already know that.”
“No one would find us.”
Harthon lifted to his elbow again and shifted toward me, the tension emanating from him nearly suffocating in its presence. I refused to cower, even as he lowered his face toward mine. “You are not out of your depths now, but if you flee, you will be. Neither of us would stop until we found you. For me, you are the only key to saving people, to upending this fucked up order and making things right. You are what’s going to save our world. For Koerlyn, you are the only key to domination and control. We would both pour all our resources into seeking you out, Etarla, no matter how long it took. I hope that I would be faster than Koerlyn, but that’s not a guarantee.”
Despair rose at the blatant truth he set out before me. “Don’t worry. Koerlyn wouldn’t set his hands on me, because if he found me first, I’d make it impossible for him to use me.”
His eyes widened at my implication. “And what about this caretaker you love so much? Would you kill her too?” he challenged.
“If I’m gone, he won’t need to hurt her.”
“Koerlyn doesn’tneedto hurt anyone. He does it for sport. Or did you not realize that when you were his prisoner for days?”
How dare he.
Anger rolled into fury, and I shoved my face closer to his, my nails digging into my palms. “I assure you, what Koerlyn does for sport will forever be imprinted in my mind.”
His lips curled on a snarl. “Then don’t pretend that the possibility of Koerlyn finding you—of you having tokillyourself to escape him—is remotely acceptable. It’s not.”
“Because if I’m dead, you can’t get into the Domus.”
Without warning, he lurched forward, twisting me onto my back and holding my hands to the ground with a growl of frustration. “Because I don’t want you to fuckingdie, Etarla. This isn’t about the Domus. It’s about your life. Do you not get that?” His chest bumpedmine as he breathed hard, his nose nearly touching mine as shadowed irises darted between mine.
I was too shocked by his words and actions to struggle against him. I was only here because of what themagvisdid to me. How could I be anything beyond that? “It’s about the Domus too, though,” I whispered.
Harthon exhaled, dropping his forehead to mine as he clenched his eyes shut. When he lifted his head and spoke, his voice had slightly calmed, almost sounding tired, though his grip remained on my wrists. “Like I said, you can help me save this world, Etarla. But whether or not you lead me into the Domus, I’ll protect you.”
I shook my head, not understanding. “Why?”
“Because I’ve decided it,” was his simple response, as if it sufficiently answered the heavy one-worded question.
It didn’t. Not at all. One hundred half-formed questions swirled in a confused frenzy, but all of them scattered when I saw Harthon’s gaze fixed on my lips. Just as it was when he woke me from my dream, except this time, it didn’t move.
Heat blossomed in my stomach and traveled through my veins as my attention flew to his overwhelming presence, the way his chest brushed mine, the restrained strength in those hands that so carefully held my wrists. He was always so careful with me. Careful, but not coddling. Empowering. My heart paused as his lips lowered, my eyes fluttering shut of their own accord.
