Come on.Turning my awareness to my body, to the parts that pulled me to the south, I willed the feeling to return.Show it to me, I demanded, muscles tensing as I sought the tug.
Still, there was nothing.
“You need to push.” Harthon’s voice was a steely command in my ear.
I gritted my teeth, staying in my body, but picturing the young woman’s face from the justice hearing—the one whose life had gone to horseshit because the world was this way. Dismay rolled in, followed by determination, and I demanded again that the feeling appear.
A tickling feeling washed over me, the sensation unpleasant, and my lungs paused as I fought a squirm.
Then as suddenly as it came, it vanished.
My eyelids slammed open as I panted, feeling as if I’d just finished a round of fighting drills. I’d been close. There’d beenafeeling there. Maybe. But it hadn’t been enough. My shoulders slumped as I bit my lip.
“Make the choice to be strong, and you’ll get there.”
It could never be so simple. “I’ll keep trying.”
“I know you will. Now why don’t you take us down this mountain so we can see what parts of your mare were left by the wolves.”
“That’s not funny.”
Chapter 26
The past few weeks had been good for my body. That was apparent as I braided my hair in the vanity, the straw-colored strands strong between my fingers. I’d grown accustomed to their usual brittleness, but they weren’t breaking as easily now as they once had. And that wasn’t the only change. Whereas I’d once thought my cheeks rather sunken and dull, they now glowed with health in the firelight, and my limbs had begun to thicken with muscle. I imagined that, were my eyes still brown, they might have a liveliness to them.
The violet and gold, however, were always vibrant.
And still odd to see on my face.
There was a knock at my door, and I turned just as Harthon stepped in and closed the door behind him, a tan tunic hanging freely over black trousers. The vee at his neck was unlaced, the top of his chest unabashedly peeking through. In his hands were the leather straps that held his daggers. In the night-darkened room, shadows and firelight danced across his muscled form, his loose hair and the whiskers on his angular jaw appearing more black than brown.
It was late, the Citadel having turned down for bed an hour or two ago, leaving only the men who guarded us at night in the hallways and on the grounds. The quiet made for a sense of privacy I didn’talways feel in my room, even if the door was closed. Callen or Stefano or Felda and Frannie were always bustling in, but this time of night brought no interruptions.
My body became fully aware of this as I took in the man at my entranceway. Briefly, I remembered how it felt to share the saddle with him today, the way he sternly pushed but gave praise, how content I was to have his hands on my thighs.
Save for last night, Harthon had never entered my room this late.
I cleared my throat. “What’s going on?”
His attention slid to the chairs and table grouped next to the door. “Were you planning to barricade your door?”
The idea had felt silly when I’d thought of it earlier, but I wasn’t taking any chances. “With all the pulling I did today, I could have another dream like last night, and I’d like to keep myself in one living piece.”
“You won’t need the barricade,” he said, focusing his sights back on me. He walked further into the room, all confident strides. Even when he wasn’t intending to, he owned a space, commanded it.
Or maybe he always intended to.
“Why?”
“I’ll be here,” he answered simply.
He’s here to sleep with you.
My pulse quickened, but it wasn’t from apprehension. A small part of me, one I’d tried my best to ignore, had hoped he would join me again tonight. The tendril of attraction I felt for him had only been strengthened by our day, and now, in the intimate seclusion of my room, that tendril expanded.
It’s attraction and comradery, nothing more.
More than a little unsure of how to handle my internal reaction, I tried for a joke. “Are you going to do this every night?”
