Kitt just chuckled and patted my hand. “Oh, I think you’re a much better fighter than you give yourself credit for, or else you wouldn’t have survived this long. All right. If you’re sure about this decision, then I’ll start making plans. Now, go take a shower and relax for a bit while I order us some food. You haven’t had a proper meal all day.”
The hotel’sbathroom was nearly as big as the bedroom. Made entirely of white marble with gold trim, it looked like the kind of place where royalty would bathe. I felt guilty just turning on the shower as my fingerprints left smudges on the perfectly polished metal.
When we arrived, we hadn’t brought any luggage with us. Other than the clothes on our backs, we literally had nothing but Kitt’s briefcase. If the hotel staff found this odd, they didn’t say a thing, but I imagined we probably made for an odd image when we arrived.
I froze in the middle of washing my hair, letting the water and shampoo suds run unchecked over my face.
Now that I thought about it, I knew exactly how we probably looked because I’d been in exactly the same situation plenty of times before. A wealthy older man dressed in a three-piece suit, accompanied by a significantly underdressed young man, neither of them with luggage. We probably looked like a client bringing a prostitute to a hotel for a night of fun.
Well... fuck. Nothing I could do about it now. The hotel staff had already seen us together. Hopefully, Kitt wouldn’t mind people assuming he was my client.
I didn’t mean to, but once my mind connected Kitt with the idea of sex, I couldn’t think of anything else. My face flushed in a way that had nothing to do with the hot water falling around me, and I vigorously scrubbed the rest of the shampoo out of my hair.
The shower might be helping me clean my body, but it was only encouraging my mind to dirtier and dirtier places. Just looking around, it was clear that the shower was too big for just one person. At least five people could easily fit inside the glass walls, and the most damning was the fact that there were two separate showerheads. Each had its own separate set of temperature controls, and the showerheads were too far apart for one person to use at the same time.
This shower was clearly built to be used with a partner. I already knew what Kitt looked like when he was wet and mostly naked from our moment in the pool, so I could easily picture him standing in the shower with me.
It wasn’t fair. I’d been so ready to go all the way with him. I’d literally thrown myself into his bed, and he’d clearly been receptive. If we hadn’t been interrupted, I’d finally have known what it was like to actually enjoy sex for once. That had barely been only twenty-four hours ago. I should have spentthe day enjoying my first experience of a “morning-after” glow. Instead, I was running for my life and plotting how to personally sabotage a human trafficker.
It really wasn’t fair.
I quickly finished up my shower, and rather than put back on my dirty clothes, I wrapped myself in one of the hotel’s complementary bathrobes instead. There were a variety of sizes in the closet to select from, and my hand first drifted toward the one that looked like it would perfectly fit me. However, I hesitated before pulling it out and selected one a few sizes too small instead. Technically, it still covered me, but it didn’t wrap as far around my body as a proper robe should and revealed most of my chest, not to mention the short hemline that left most of my legs on display.
Yeah, I could work with this.
While I was in the shower, Kitt had ordered room service, and a pair of silver-covered dishes now waited for us. Only with the prospect of food in front of me did I realize how hungry I actually was, and I hurried over to the table. If Kitt noticed what I was wearing, he gave no outward reaction as he pulled out my chair like we were at some fancy restaurant and uncovered my meal for me.
Chicken Parmesan. A particular favorite of mine. I hadn’t asked for anything specific since I figured I was hungry enough to enjoy anything, but Kitt had still managed to choose something I’d like.
Part of me thought it might just be a coincidence, but as he sat down across from me, I noticed that he didn’t seem surprised by my enthusiasm for the meal.
No, it hadn’t been a coincidence. Somehow, despite not knowing each other that long, Kitt already had an accurate sense for my preferences. He’d also been the first person to answer mewhen I asked him about changing my style, and actually helped analyze what he thought would suit me.
Looking down at the plate before me, my eyes stung and a pressure built up in my sinuses. I wanted to cry, but I held it back as I took my first bite, refusing to let tears spoil the taste of the food.
Favorite foods, tattoos, and hair color may not seem that important in the grand scheme of things, but in my experiences, people were not defined by large gestures and grand displays. What made a person a person were the little things. Favorite movies that you watch over and over again, or that book you stayed up late reading, desperately turning pages to see what would happen next. A song that everyone else likes but you hate for seemingly no reason, and that well-loved sweater that is so old it’s unraveling but you can’t bear to throw it away because it just fits you too perfectly.
These are the things that define a person’s life, and for the longest time, I thought I didn’t have them.
How could I develop a sense of self when I was constantly just trying to survive?
Yet, somewhere along the way, I’d somehow built myself into a person, one small preference at a time, and I hadn’t even noticed until Kitt pointed it out so casually.
If asked later, I’d say that the meal was one of the most delicious I’d ever eaten. It would probably be true. There was no way an expensive place like this would serve anything less than the best food. Yet, I couldn’t actually remember what the food tasted like. Whenever I thought back on the meal, the only thing I’d be able to remember was the growing sense of awe that filled me with each bite, like a whole new universe was expanding inside me.
CHAPTER 19
Kitt
Jordy was goingto be the death of me. Watching him sit there across from me at the table, wearing a robe that barely fit him, I felt like I was dying. Surely, this is what death felt like. He was so close with nothing but air between us, not even clothes with how much skin he was showing, but I couldn’t touch him. This whole situation was way too stressful. We’d literally been dodging bullets just last night. Sex should be the last thing on my mind.
Yet, when I looked up from my plate, I noticed the top of his robe slipping down slightly over his shoulder, and I had to resist the urge to slap myself.
I had more control than this. I wasn’t some horny frat boy ready to hump anything that would sit still long enough.
We didn’t talk much as we ate. I’d taken my best guess at what I thought Jordy would like, and I was glad to see that I’d been right as he enjoyed his meal. My own dinner, however, I barely paid attention to. If you asked me five minutes later, Iwouldn’t even be able to recall what I’d eaten, my attention was so riveted elsewhere.
It was toward the end of the meal, which I barely remembered eating, that Jordy looked up and met my eye. He still didn’t say anything, but there was something in his expression and the way he shifted so that his robe fell a little further off his shoulder, that made everything perfectly clear to me.
