Most of the lights in the hotel room were still off, since we’d sat directly down at the table to review the memory card Lily Kim had given us, so the atmosphere was dim and soft around the edges. Off to the side, the air conditioner whirred with the gentle hum of a well-maintained machine. It was only spring. The weather wasn’t warm enough for the air-conditioner to be running. We should probably turn that off.
My eyes were already searching for the room’s temperature control panel, when Kitt called my name again, bringing my attention back to him.
Maybe I wasn’t as grounded as I thought. My head still felt a little spacey.
“I’m fine,” I insisted. “I was just thinking.”
My eyes met his.
How strange. I could remember every detail about him, just like I could with everyone else I met, so why was I always surprised by the depth of his dark eyes when he looked at me?
In his eyes, there was no difference between pupils and iris. It was all just solid, glittering black. Such a difference to the color I saw in the mirror every day. My own eyes showed off my pupils like they were the main attraction. Every time my pupils constricted themselves in fear or dilated in excitement, it was on display for everyone to see.
I much preferred Kitt’s hidden expression. No matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I had no way to know if he was afraid, or excited, or nervous. For years, I’d survived by reading the desires of the people around me and catering to them. The fact that Kitt’s opinions remained hidden within the shield of his dark eyes made it a lot easier for me to express my own opinions.
“I’ve already told you before. Edgar Barr was our most frequent client. He’s the one I hate the most. I don’t... I don’t care about anyone else. I just want to see him go down.”
Kitt sat silently for a moment, then nodded and placed his metal briefcase onto the table. After opening it, he picked up the cell phone displaying the data from Lily Kim’s memory card.
“All right. Edgar Barr is the one you want to focus on, then that’s what we’ll do.”
He started to place the phone inside the briefcase, but I grabbed his wrist and stopped him.
“Wait. Just like that?”
The phone remained in his hand, hovering in the air just above the open briefcase as Kitt looked at me with confusion.
“What do you mean? We have two choices. Whether we go after Grace Calderon ourselves or wait to regroup with the others and focus on the other leaders of the bell ringers, like Edgar Barr. You said you’d rather focus on Edgar Barr.”
“Yeah, but...” I snatched the phone out of his hand and placed it back on the table. “Just because that’s what I want to do doesn’t make it the best choice. “Didn’t you say before that you think Grace Calderon was our best bet for winning the case?”
With a snap, Kitt closed his briefcase again.
“In my professional opinion, yes. I think she would be. But this isn’t just about winning the case. It’s about bringing justice to the victims. Justice to you. There’s no point in any of this if you’re unhappy with the results in the end. So, if Edgar Barr is the one you want us to focus on, we will.”
I was tempted to say yes. I so badly wanted to see that man—that monster—behind bars that I was willing to throw everything else away to make it happen.
Unfortunately, with my memory being the way it was, when I thought back on the past, I not only saw Edgar Barr’s face in perfect clarity. I also saw the face of every other child I’d been raised with.
The various roommates that had come and gone over the years.
The ones who were too young to know that anything else existed.
The ones who were taken when they were older and still remembered their families.
The ones that had found a way to survive.
The ones that hadn’t.
I remembered all of them.
This wasn’t just my decision, but I was the only one who could make it.
“No,” I eventually declared. “The most important thing is making sure we take down the bell ringers for good. If Grace Calderon is our best bet for doing that, then we need to stop her before she leaves the country.”
“You realize that means going after her alone?” Kitt asked. “We can’t afford to bring in any new people, or we could just end up in another situation like with Sam back at the bunker. I’ll keep trying to get in contact with the others, but if they don’t respond soon, it’ll be just the two of us going after Calderon.”
Squaring up my shoulders, I sat as straight as I could in my chair. “I’m not much of a fighter, but I’ll do my best.”
