Hearing about it on the news was bad enough, but to be confronted with it directly left me shaking from a whole new wave of adrenaline.
“Not really. Honestly, I don’t want to think about it too much, but I heard that the trial has been put on hold.”
Clay’s hand settled easily on Logan’s hip, like that spot had been made specifically as a place to rest his palm.
The sight of it, this casual intimacy that seemed to come so easily for them, distracted me so much that I almost missed what Logan said next.
“Technically, it’s on hold, but if we don’t come up with some more evidence, we’re probably going to lose the case.”
“Well, we also lost our lawyer,” Clay added. “That’s a problem, too.”
Logan’s hand covered Clay’s on his hip. “Actually, I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet, but I just got a call from Sebastian. Looks like we’ve got a lawyer, after all.”
“Really?” Clay’s voice was excited, but a hint of skepticism remained. “Just like that? Where’d we get a lawyer from so suddenly?”
“Apparently, someone volunteered. I don’t know the details. The others will tell us more about it when we get back.”
“Um…” I hesitated to interrupt them, but they seemed to be getting off track, and none of this was answering my questions. “I’m glad to hear you’ve got a lawyer now, but what does that have to do with me? Why are you here? Not that I’m not grateful for you saving me, but shouldn’t you be focusing on your case?”
Clay’s hand, the one that wasn’t glued to Logan’s hip, rested gently against my arm. Halfway between shoulder and elbow, the gesture was less intimate than if he’d touched my shoulder, but at the same time it was also softer and more comforting. The combination was strange, as if he were both pushing me away and pulling me closer at the same time.
“It’s not just our case,” Clay said, keeping his voice as soft as his touch. “It’s your case as well. It’s the case of everyone who was victimized by those monsters. The bell ringers have to pay for what they’ve done, so they can never hurt anyone again, but to do that we need more evidence. We need... we need more witnesses to come forward.”
Off in the distance, a car horn blared loud enough to make me jump. My nerves were already shot, and the sudden noise put me on the defensive. I instinctively looked around for any threats, and my attention zeroed in on the ground below.
Six stories was a long way to fall. Far enough to reach terminal velocity, which meant that it was almost guaranteed to be lethal.
Someone had tried to make me take that fall. They wanted to kill me, and it almost worked.
Rage coated the back of my throat with a hot metallic taste so thick I nearly choked on it.
I slapped Clay’s hand away.
“You brought them here.”
“Jordy,” Clay started to say, reaching for me again, but I cut him off.
“No, fuck off. They must have known you were coming here. That’s why someone just tried to kill me.” I pointed at Logan. “Hell, they probably know I helped this guy find you in the first place. You’ve practically painted a target on my back.”
My voice shook, and my legs nearly gave out under me as the implication of what I was saying hit me all at once.
It was too many emotions to process. I was angry, but also so very scared. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time.
Clay reached for me again, looking like he was about to cry himself, but I pulled away from him. I fisted my hands in my newly dyed hair as I fought back the tears.
“No. I was done. I graduated. Two years I’ve been here, like a broken and discarded toy that needed to be pieced back together. I’m finally putting it behind me and moving on with my life. You’re not pulling me back into this mess.”
To his credit, Clay didn’t try to touch me again. His voice shook, but he still stood firm as he faced me, confident in himself.
“Look, Jordy, I know it’s difficult, but?—”
“No, you don’t,” I cut him off again. Not even sure what I intended to say, I just waved wildly in his direction, encompassing him from head to toe. “Look at you. A family thatnever stopped looking for you. A partner that supports you. It’s easy to move on when you’ve got so many people in your corner, but not all of us are so lucky.”
It was clear that Clay tried to hide his reaction, but I still saw the way he flinched. My words had hurt him.
I should have felt guilty, and I probably would once I calmed down enough to think clearly. At the moment, however, all I felt was satisfaction.
Good. Let him be hurt. Then at least my misery wouldn’t be alone.
