You’re being ridiculous. Besides Coach Wilder, Ash is your boss. Maybe you’re something adjacent to friendly at best. You don’t have any claim on any part of him.
After thanking the receptionist, Ash strode purposefully toward where I stood next to the elevators.
He had his professional hockey player face on, not showing a hint of the exhaustion he must be feeling.
Pressing the button to call the elevator, he turned his head in my direction.
His gaze roved over my face, a slow perusal that dimmed the irrational envy I’d felt when he’d interacted with the woman. She still looked like she was trying very hard not to gawk at the superstar across the room.
If I’d felt even an iota of generosity toward her, I’d sympathize—Ash was impossible to look away from.
Ash opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the ding of the elevator and its doors opening.
He waved me in ahead of him, pressing the button for the fourth floor before moving to lean against the back wall next to me.
Even with six inches or so between us, I could feel the heat of his body seeping through the thin, ratty fabric of my hoodie. My skin erupted in goosebumps along my arms and down my chest, the skin over my pecs and abs tightening enough to cause a slight jolt to my system.
I wasn’t going to think about the warm, salty smell of his skin and the hint of icy mint, which might be the remnants of his body wash from his last shower.
“We’re on the fourth floor.” He spoke more softly than usual, but the sound of his voice surrounded me in the enclosed space.
I hummed an affirmative noise accompanied by a bob of my head, even though I’d just watched him press the button for that floor.
Ash cleared his throat before continuing, reaching up to adjust his baseball cap.
“So, the thing is, there’s some massive junior dance competition in town right now. Everything nearby is completely booked up. They only had one double room available.” Heangled his body so that he could face me fully, but my nerves kept me rooted in place, facing the closed metal doors before us. “Is that going to be okay? If not, I understand. We can just head back to Lakeside now. I don’t want you doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, especially when you’re worried about your mom. . .”
And your dad just reamed you out like you killed someone, rather than only missing one fucking AHL hockey game, I filled in the end of his sentence in my mind. We’d only left the hospital less than forty minutes ago, so it wasn’t as if he could have forgotten the whole scene he’d witnessed.
Excess saliva pooled in my mouth from nerves as I listened, causing me to nearly choke in surprise before covering it with the loudest swallow of my life.
Very smooth, Kelly.
“No!” I blurted out before realizing what I was implying.
My single word hit Ash like a blow, causing his body to rock back slightly on one foot, as if he was poised to move to the opposite wall to get away from me.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” I rushed on. “I mean yes, it’s completely fine. There’s no way we should be driving with so little sleep. Especially you, Ash. What I meant to say was, no, I’m not uncomfortable at all. In any way. We’re good.”
Ash’s shoulders relaxed, and he offered me a tired smile.
I concentrated on slowing my breathing so my body would reflect my words.
None of the reasons why I felt shaky and uncertain had anything to do with Ash making me feel unsafe. The exact opposite was happening. Each moment in his presence drew me closer to him.
But that wasn’t his problem to deal with.
Forcing myself through the weirdness of sharing an intimate space with Ash, I’d opted to take the first shower while he ordered some room service.
In the tight corridor of the room’s entry, I’d realized that I hadn’t showered since after practice the day before, and the thought of being gross in Ash’s presence made my skin itch.
Worries swirled in my stomach as I hurriedly scrubbed my body and hair with the lemon-scented soap provided in the hotel bathroom.
What would Ash think of me now that he knew more about my home life? Would he see how pathetic I was and stop wanting to be around me?
I rubbed harder on my chest and abs, the body wash and water barely protecting my skin from being flayed by the friction.
I hadn’t realized how much I’d come to rely on Ash being there for me, not just as the offensive coach for the Hammerheads, but because of how secure I felt in his company.
