I opened my mouth to respond.
“Am I the coach on this bench or what?” A raised eyebrow dared me to try to argue again.
I dropped my elbows to my knees, letting my head fall forward with a defeated nod. I was still highly aware that Ash had not moved his leg away from mine.
“Good,” he rumbled beside me.
Other than Coach Wilder, Ash was the boss around here, and if I couldn’t hide my weakness that I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the team energy-wise, there was nothing I could do to change his mind in this moment.
Better to crash as soon as I got back to the apartment. Fuck eating dinner. I’d just collapse into bed and try to do a more convincing job tomorrow of hiding any signs that I was struggling.
“I can see the stress written all over you, Rookie.” Ash pulled in another lungful of air before releasing it as the next words fell from his lips. “Come to my office this afternoon after you have a chance to get some rest. I’ll bring the tapes, and we’ll review them again. It’ll be quieter and easier to think. Don’t worry, Cade, we got this.”
ten
ASHER
“Don’t worry, Cade, we got this.”
Cade’s head whipped up at my offer.
What the hell was I doing? My mind struggled to catch up with my gut instincts. I was perilously close to breaking ethical, responsible coaching rules. But I couldn’t make myself take them back.
There was something about Cade that called to me in a way that no one had ever done before. This young rookie was an intoxicating mix of strength and vulnerability, combined with an edge of softness that he hid under a fortress of forced calm.
And I longed to make something, anything, easier for him.
So, if I had to break a couple of little—okay, maybe major—rules to take some of the immense pressure off Cade’s shoulders, then I couldn’t regret the small risk to my own career to offer him that reprieve.
Cade’s mouth formed a stunned “O” shape as he considered the possibility. “I. . . I couldn’t ask you to do something like that for me. It’s too much. I don’t want special treatment because you feel bad for me, Asher.”
Good god. My more primitive instincts surged against my self-control. I clung desperately onto the shred of decency inside me. Cade wasn’t mine to take care of.
I never hooked up with anyone in hockey, even during my wildest nights in university. And I certainly had never violated an organizations—and my best friend’s—trust over an insistent attraction.
That thought was the only thing that kept me from spilling just how many ways I needed to make things better for Cade. And none of them had anything to do with pity.
Iwanted nothing more in this moment than to gather Cade in my arms—even in his sweaty hockey gear—and promise him that I would fix any problem he was facing. The way Cade took me apart piece by piece when he aimed those sweet green eyes at me should be illegal.
As much as I wanted to let go of everything and speak my desires into the open, I knew I would never forgive myself if I didn’t do thehonorablething.
Iwanted Cade’s trust, not some quick, meaningless physical interaction to sate the lust constantly riding me.I was twenty-nine-goddamn-years old. Not some teenage kid letting his hormones drive his decision-making.
The inconvenient, growing attraction I carried for Cade rebelled at the notion of being pushed to the back of my mind and locked down. But I did it anyway.
It rankled that Cade saw himself as an obligation. I cut him off before he could spiral too deeply into the idea that there was even a remote chance I didn’t want to be there for him.
“Cade. Wanting to help you has nothing to do with pity or anything like that. Can you trust me?”
I kept my gaze steady on Cade’s, looking for any discomfort that he wouldn’t want to be alone with me in my office.
Therookie blew out a breath, some of the tension in his expression disappearing.
“Yes, Asher. I trust you.” Cade didn’t blink and his eyes held mine captive as he spoke the words.
Concern hit me deep in my chest once again. Those dark circles under Cade’s eyes haunted my thoughts for hours after I’d left him on that bench at the end of practice.
That gnawing need to take care of Cade was the only reason the invite had fallen from my lips. Of all the feelings my ethics and pseudo-alternate coach position demanded I withhold, offering Cade a safe space and a place to clear his head wasn’t one of them.
