A thousand volts of electricity ran through my limbs at his insinuation. As much as I’d hated him since I was a kid, I’d never wanted to hurt him. I just wanted to make myself invisible.
But insulting Ash seemed to unleash all of my anger.
“Fucking don’t, Dad. None of whatever shady shit you’re making up in your head is true. I’m not like you that way. But you can believe what you want to believe, you always have. Here’s what’s happening next: I’m firing that piece of shit lawyer you saddled me with as an agent as soon as we leave here. You’re going to have to find a way to convince someone you can stay sober enough to do a job, because you will never see another cent from me that you can drink and gamble away. But whatever happens next, you and I are never going to speak again.”
I stood, pushing my chair in. At this rate, I’d wait for Ash outside the damn bathroom door if it got us out of here a few seconds faster.
To Mom, I said, “I’m sorry, Mom. I don’t want to leave things like this.” I gestured to Dad. He’d never come close to laying a hand on her; his aggression was only ever focused on me. “But you see now what it’s always been like for me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But Ash and I are here for you in any way you might need, okay? I love you.”
As if summoned by me saying his name, Ash reappeared from behind me to stand at my side. He took my hand in his, interlacing our fingers once more.
I didn’t want to make things harder for her, but I could no longer carry the weight of the expectations and needs of the entire family. I was so fucking tired.
I wanted to figure out a way to heal some of these wounds and finally live.
I let my dad get an eyeful of Ash holding my hand, knowing it only fanned the flames of his temper. But I refused to let go, pressing our hands to my body so that I felt Ash’s knuckles press against my quad. Despite his shitty insinuations, it was better that he learned about our relationship sooner rather than later. He might be an asshole bigot, but I wasn’t going to live under the fear of what he would do if he found out.
My dad’s eyes were glued to our hands.
“Listen, you’re a bigger dipshit than I ever thought if you think that you’re going to be able to hide this from the press.” Dad waved his hand at the space Ash and I occupied. “This shit is gold and all it’ll take is one well-placed phone call to whatever media outlet that’ll pay the most for the chance to out Ace Landry and the player who ruined his career. Is that the kind of legacy you want your sugar daddy to have, huh, Caden? You want to be labelled a whore for the entire world to see?”
My breath stalled in my chest as Dad casually laid out my worst fucking nightmare.
“Shut up, Frank.” Mom’s voice was soft, but her tone was cutting. She meant business now. “None of that is happening or willeverhappen, do you hear me? If it does, I will personally make it my life’s mission to make sure the world knows what a useless piece of shit you are, Frank, husband or not.”
My dad sagged back against his chair, an air of defeat causing his shoulders to drop.
She used her walker to pull herself to standing, unlocking the brakes and moving around Dad to come stand in front of me.
“I love you, Caden. I hope next time we see each other will be different. I’ll make sure of it. Take care of each other, okay?” Mom placed a hand on my cheek. I nodded, pressing the side of my face into her palm.
“We will, Lynn. And I’ll make sure of that.” Ash offered her a small smile. “Ready?” he asked me.
“Yep. Bye, Mom. Text me, okay? Anytime. Anything you need, promise?” I looked at Dad, the monster that had haunted my every step all these years, looking every bit his age with the misery plastered all over his face.
He’d made Mom mad in a way I’d never seen before. I guess all the Kellys were learning something new about themselves and each other today.
I turned, with Ash following me, and we walked out of my parents’ house. I knew I would never go back there again, no matter what my mom chose going forward. Though after that shit show, I imagined we’d be hearing from her sooner rather than later.
I just hoped she’d come to her senses and leave my dad. We’d already started prepping Ash’s condo in Toronto for her in anticipation of that day. It would be ready for her whenever she needed it.
Outside in the still cold spring air, a small breeze nipped against my skin, the sensation signalling to my body that we were no longer in that kitchen. That I’d done it. I’d faced my dad and lived to see the other side.
It was freeing to finally confront him with the words I’d imagined a thousand times over. But a heavy blanket of sadness settled over me at the thought of all the years I’d spent thinking that if I just tried a little harder, my dad would finally see that I was good enough.
We said nothing as we made our way back to Ash’s Jeep.
Then a delayed panic sank its claws deep into my organs and pulled hard enough that it felt like my actual flesh was tearing. The gravity of the fear was as real as the earth’s.
My knees locked with the effort to remain standing, even though all I wanted to do was fall to the ground.
What the hell was going on? I’d done it! I’d stood up for myself. I was supposed to feel amazing and free. Why did it feel like I’d just fallen off a cliff?
My mind continued to spiral. The last thing I wanted was to affect Ash’s career. We’d said it was all worth the risk, but the reality of all Ash’s hard work and dedication coming crashing down because of me had my balance faltering.
I sucked in a breath that got stuck in my chest, my muscles tightening in pain as a numbness crept up my face and into my fingers.
Standing in front of me, Ash’s eyes went wide. He quickly let go of my hand, bringing his arm around my shoulders and pulling me tightly into his body in a crushing hug.
