“You would’ve been free of me.”
Bash’s other hand snakes around my chest and hugs me against him. His fingers are still tucked inside my waistband, and I haven’t felt this safe in years. His lips press against the curve of my shoulder and move up my neck, and I tilt my head as I shiver.
“I’ll never be free of you,” he murmurs against my skin.
“Do you want to be?”
He draws a lengthy, steadying breath and rests his forehead on my shoulder. The light fades further, and disappointment chokes me when he never answers.
When he finally speaks, the quiet has stretched so long the words startle me.
“What would’ve happened if we’d never been caught?” he asks. “Would we have stayed there forever, or would we have run away?”
“I couldn’t have risked running,” I answer without hesitation. “They would’ve never stopped looking for us.”
He sighs again, and I can feel his frustration growing as he asks, “What makes you think we’re that important?”
Stars have emerged in the sky above us, dotting between the breaks in the clouds. They aren’t nearly as bright as the ones we see at the village, but they’re still beautiful.
“We knew too much, Bash.”
“It’s nice to picture, though, isn’t it? That we could’ve left that life behind?” He hugs me tighter. “Where would we have gone?”
A smile threatens my lips as his fingers resume their slow perusal of my skin. “To the ocean.”
“Mmm,” he agrees with another of those gentle kisses to my neck. “We could’ve found a little hidden strip of land. Had a hut right on the water… a hammock between two trees, and sand everywhere.”
“You hate the sand,” I say.
His cheeks lift in a smile. “Yeah, I do. I would’ve gotten over it, though. We could’ve built a home—”
“You would’ve built it,” I tease as my smile grows along with his, “while I watched and shouted praise from the shade.”
“Spoiled princess.”
A soft chuckle leaves me. “You love it.”
“Yeah,” he whispers with a cutting edge of sadness. “Yeah, I do.”
The air thickens again as I sense his withdrawal. Things have gotten too honest, too raw, and he’s shutting down. He tries to pull his hand back from my hip, but I reach down and clutch his wrist.
“Don’t go,” I beg into the night. “Not yet. Stay with me a little longer.”
He rests his forehead against my shoulder, and his swallow is audible in the quiet. “This is so fucking hard, Xen. We can sit here and talk about what might’ve been, but it doesn’t change reality. What did you think would happen when you showed up? That I would just forget everything you did?”
“Not forget, no,” I force myself to say. “Forgive, maybe.”
“I can’t pick up my life and follow you on this wild quest. Not when you can’t guarantee you won’t leave me again.”
“I won’t,” I swear, but allow him to pull his hand away. I spin, letting my knees fall on either side of his hips.
His eyes are pleading as they lift to mine. “What happens to me if you do?”
One of his hands reaches for my face, brushing my cheekbone and tracing my lower lip.
“I loved you too much, Xen. Look where it got me.”
“Loved?”
