That’s scarier than it has any right to be.
Dusky sunlight shines through the cracked windshield as I pull into the center of the village, and, sure enough, everyone is up and alert. They loiter outside their houses as if they actually have a reason to be there at this ungodly hour. Despite my straight face and rolled eye, affection tugs at my heart.
Everyone says goodbye in their own unique way.
Ronan complains, while Cameron jokes.
Reyes teases, and Nyx gives me a timid smile from his side.
Taryn gives me a polite goodbye, but Lillith wraps me in a bear hug.
Matuk and his crew stand further back and only wave, then Aryn thumps me on the back with worry inside the calm of his brassy golden eyes.
Sprocket storms over and yanks my ear, dragging me to her level. “Ouch!” I yelp, but she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me in a move that’s very unlike her.
“You’ve always been impulsive, Xeni, but going alone is irresponsible.” Her gruff voice defies her size, and right now, it’s packed with emotion. “We loved him, too, you know. Maybe we could—”
“I’ll be fine,” I assure her, but she pulls back and stares at me. Her bronze eyes don’t miss a thing, and they’re coated in concern that’s out of place on her usual blasé demeanor.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” she asks.
I pull the driver’s side door open again and tap my hand against the frame. “No,” I admit with a resigned shrug.
Her lips pull into a tight line as she steps back and puts her hands on her hips. Neither of us says anything else, and after a long stretch of silence, I toss a wave at the others before I seal myself into the vehicle and drive.
Bash
Seven Years Ago
Knucklesrapagainstmybarracks door, and stress locks me in place as I glance around the room. For the hundredth time, I worry Xeni will take one look and run the other direction. Despite his reassurances earlier, I’ve always been a little awkward, and I’m certainly notcool.
Not like him.
Comic books form stacks on my shelves, wrapped in protective sleeves. They’re hard enough to come by in the cities, but out here there’s no chance of getting new ones, so I try to safeguard what I have. A few pairs of my reading glasses sitbeside them, and my lab coats hang from hooks near a table with my personal microscope.
My personal microscope.
There isn't a single person on this planet that can use that phrase and claim to be cool.
I’ve fought with the idea of stashing it all away, but a voice inside me tells me not to. I don’t want to hide myself from Xeni. If I pretend to be someone else, it means he’ll never like the real me, and that thought fills me with an indescribable sadness. Rejection would hurt, but living a lie would be worse.
He knocks again, and I smooth my hands down my jeans in a futile attempt to steady them before bracing myself. Xeni’s face lights up the moment the door opens, that easy, breathtaking smile spreading as he balances two plates of food in his hands.
“Thanks for picking up dinner,” I say, hurrying to usher him inside.
He tilts his head, catching the slight shake in my voice with that perceptive gaze of his. “Are you okay?”
I blow out another heavy breath, eyes dropping to stare at the plates. “I’m nervous,” I admit, shifting my weight between my feet.
“For little ol’ me?” he asks, his tone soft through the teasing.
“Yeah. You’re just so… cool? Put together? While I’m over here being…” I trail off, words failing me as self-doubt creeps in.
Xeni sets the plates on the table with a quiet clink, then returns to stand in front of me. Long fingers wrap around my wrist, holding me there until I finally meet his eyes. They’re sincere in a way that makes my chest tighten, and he slides his palm down to weave his hand with mine, thumb brushing soothing circles over my knuckles.
“You’re over here being authenticallyyou, which is something I’ve always struggled with. The real you is the only one I want. Please believe that. No masks, not with me.”
“Does that work both ways? Can I have the real you?”
