“I don’t want this guilt anymore,” I choke out, gripping the sides of her waist to reassure me that she’s here with me.
“The guilt was never yours to carry,” she says, shaking her head as tears cascade down her cheeks. “I think it’s time to let it go,” she smiles. “We have a whole lot of life left to live, and I need you with me.”
Pulling her to me, I bury my head in her neck and give in for the last time to all the hurt and pain that wants to be set free.
Every bruise.
Every hateful word that wanted to suffocate me.
The guilt that kept me hidden in the dark.
The anger that wanted to eat me alive.
I let it all go in the arms of the one person who was strong enough to pull me into her light, so I didn’t have to live in the dark anymore.
TWENTY-SEVEN
SAVI
“I haven’t hadone of these in years,” he grins, stuffing his mouth with the second grilled cheese of the night. “So fucking good,” he says with a mouthful.
“During college, I lived on these,” I laugh, taking a bite of the cheesy goodness.
Once he told me everything, it was like the last final restraint between us was finally broken. There’s a lightness to him that wasn’t there before, and it’s so beautiful to see.
After we untangled ourselves in bed, I could tell he was feeling vulnerable and a little out of his comfort zone, showing so much emotion. I knew he needed some reprieve from the heavy stuff and to get back to his usual in-control self, so I persuaded him out of bed with my promise of making him the best grilled cheese sandwich ever. If his empty plate is any indication, I guess it was a hit.
I pick up my wine and take a sip as I watch him over the rim of my glass. I didn’t think I could love him anymore, but I was wrong.
“Savi,” he says quietly, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Hmmm?” I say in a daze, watching a small smirk play on his lips.
“Whatever you’re thinking is wrong…I love you more.”
“What?” I ask, snapping out of it. “How did you…?”
“Your eyes have always been able to give you away. Why do you think I stayed away from you for so long? I saw what you were hiding under all those daggers you threw my way,” he grins.
“Like I couldn’t see under your annoying glances and stupid-ass comments thrown my way,” I huff. “Why do you think you drove me batshit crazy with your stubbornness to hide what I’ve always felt deep inside whenever I would feel your eyes on me when you thought I wasn’t paying attention?”
Laughing, he walks over and takes my wine glass from me, setting it on the counter.
“Did I ever tell you how much I love that smart-ass mouth of yours?” He swivels my stool around until I’m facing him. “It was the one thing I looked forward to every time I was in town. I couldn’t wait to pull it out of you. It was like my own personal foreplay, and what I got off to after your sweet ass would storm away.”
Bending down, his hands grip the arms of the stool as he leans in more.
My eyes play with his as I lean in closer.
“Did I ever tell you how I would wear the skimpiest outfits whenever you were in town? Pushing your buttons and seeing the anger and jealousy you tried so hard to hide wasmyown personal foreplay. It was whatIgot off to as I would lie in bed and touch myself until I was moaning your name.”
His nostrils flare as his eyes darken into a sultry blue haze.
“Those outfits drove me half mad.”
“I know,” I smile smugly. “It was so much fun to see you squirm.”
“You really shouldn’t have told me that, sunshine,” he wickedly grins before throwing me over his shoulder as I yelp from the sudden movement. “You’ve been a very bad girl, and bad girls need to be punished.”
