“Stop tugging on it,” Maya orders, flopping down on the bed next to Emmy. “That dress was made for you, and you look so freaking hot in it I need to fan myself.”
“It was made foryou,” I say, digging through my jewelry box in search of the hammered silver bangles Sophie’s mom gave me for my last birthday. “You’re two inches taller than I am, which means this dress is two inches too short for me, and I’m a former hockey player with a former hockey player ass.” Shoving the bracelets on my wrist, I spin around. “Which means the dress is too fucking short.”
“We’re going to a club, Maddy baby. Two inches too short isthe perfect length. And your ass is spectacular.” Sophie practically skips out of my bathroom wearing a bright pink dress that’s tighter and inches shorter than mine. Her brown hair curls wildly and tumbles down her back, and I would cut off a limb right now for just a tiny slice of her outgoing personality. Or her confidence that she’s not going to end up with her ass hanging out of the bottom of her dress.
Instead, I have a dress that’s a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, a strapless bra that’s so uncomfortable I want to tear it off and burn it in protest, and an attack of stress hives.
“This is a bad fucking idea,” I mutter, taking a long sip from the water bottle on my dresser and staring with disdain at the shoes Maya brought over for me to wear. Shoes I’ll probably fall out of and break an ankle, which means I’ll be spending the night in the emergency room instead of in Cam Lowry’s bed.
Cam’s bed. Holy hell.
Did I mention the stress hives?
“This isn’t about the dress, is it?” Caitlin asks from her perch on the couch that sits along one wall of my bedroom. She reaches out and takes my hand, tugging me gently until I’m sitting next to her.
Sarah takes my other side and wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Talk to us, Mads. Something’s up. You’re angsting hard, and you never do that. Plus, you haven’t eaten a single M&M, and you just drank actual water.”
“I did?” I glance around the room, and my eyes land on the water bottle on my dresser. “Shit,” I mutter, covering my face with my hands. “I’m a mess. But, like, not in my usual, fun way. In more of the,I have no idea what I’m doing, and I may be about to make a major mistakeway.”
“It’s Cam, right?” Emmy sets her Skittles aside and scoots to the edge of the bed so she’s closer to the couch. Maya follows, and Sophie plops down on Emmy’s other side so all six of us sit in a circle of sorts. “You’ve been acting weird since you got home from the game.”
With the exception of Maya, no one knows what happened in my parents’ house a few weeks ago. Or that Cam and I have been existing in a kind of limbo ever since. A limbo that is deliciously sexy one day and terrifying another when the ramifications of what we’re doing hit me. What it might mean for my career. For my life. Suddenly, I feel like if I don’t unload it all, I might just explode.
And these women are my women.
Lifting my head up, I nod, taking a deep breath. And then I tell them everything.
“Oh my god,” Sarah cackles. “That is queen behavior, Maddy. Complete and utter queen behavior.”
“Which part?” I say dryly. “The part where I dry humped the guy against a wall in my parents’ house or the part where my mom and Liv caught us when Cam literally had a wet spot on the front of his pants? Which part of that would you consider queen behavior?”
“All of it,” Emmy says with a nod. “First of all, dry humping is a lost art, and I think there should be more of it, not less.”
“Second that.” Sophie raises her hand like she’s bidding at an auction. “I mean, all that delicious muscle pinning you against a wall and grinding into you?” She shivers dramatically. “So hot. I wish a sexy football player would pin me to a wall.”
Maya gives her a wicked grin. “I’m sure that could be arranged. I bet Tyler would volunteer as tribute if you found the guts to ask.”
“Shut up,” Sophie mumbles, her face turning bright red.
I drop my head back against the cushions, suddenly assaulted by images of that night. “It was,” I mutter. “It was so fucking hot, you guys. And he wasn’t embarrassed or anything. Instead, he just pulled me closer to him and got all possessive right in front of my mom and Liv. What am I even supposed to do with that?”
“What do you want to do?” Caitlin asks, her voice steady and curious and her expression open, like she’s ready to acceptwhatever answer I give her. She may be prickly sometimes, but when it comes to the people she loves, she’ll go to the ends of the earth. I feel a rush of love for her, for all of them, as I look around our little circle.
My friends aren’t going to judge me for feeling like I’ll die if I don’t have Cam’s hands on me before this night is over. They won’t tell me I’m wrong for being hesitant to make that happen because of what it might mean for my career. They won’t tell me I’m crazy for falling a little in love with two kids who don’t belong to me. Or that I’m setting myself up for heartbreak with the man.
They’ll just be here, holding space for me in any way I need them to, and just seeing them gathered around me makes me feel powerful.
Like I could scale a building or lift a car.
Like I can admit that I have big, important feelings for the man who makes me feel everything.
Like I could do anything, as long as I have them with me.
I really have no idea how anyone gets through life without girlfriends on their side.
And with that thought in my head, I give them my simplest truth.
“I want him. I have since that first night. When I cut through everything else, it’s really not that complicated at all.”
