I could tell that Trell was embarrassed, but what could he do? I had heat for niggas like him, so it was best that he stayed out of my way.
Once you see your life flash before your eyes, you tend to look at things a lot differently. All I wanted was to be a family with the father of my child. In return, I got shitted on, embarrassed, almost had my child taken away, kidnapped, and damn near killed. Seeing Jakari be concerned about Harmoni instead of me and his son after we had been kidnapped hurt me to the core. That was my wakeup call, but before I could move on with my life, it was almost taken at the hands of his thug ass brother.
Everyone thought I was dead but was only in shock from the impact of the bullet that went straight through my neck. Waking up days later, only to find out that I had permanent nerve damage that left the left side of my face in a state of paralysis. As I recovered, I had a lot of time to reflect on how I would makemuthafukas pay for crossing me, and I needed Jakari to see that I was the wrong one to play with.
The feds were already building a case on Jakari but had no inside connections. While I was in the hospital, they told me that I would have to start a new life and go off the grid if I was going to help them take him down. They approached me for my help once they saw that Jakari was the person who checked me into the hospital. The investigators immediately assumed it was a drug deal gone wrong and I got caught in the crossfire. I decided not to tell them anything about Black and the kidnapping; I was going to handle him on my own.
Before my kidnapping and getting shot, Jakari and Harmoni called it quits, but he still wasn’t trying to be with me, and I couldn’t understand why. As much as he loved his son, you would think he would have tried to raise him in a two-parent household, especially since he was no longer with Harmoni’s lame ass. I asked my cousin Journei to approach him and see if he would entertain her. Journei knew my history with Jakari, so she knew not to try anything funny, or so I thought. She reported back to me that he also told her he wasn’t looking for a relationship, and they could be friends. Once I heard that, I assumed she stopped trying since I had the answer and information I was looking for.
After almost getting killed, I asked Journei to reach back out to Jakari and get information on his operation. I later found out that she never stopped talking to him anyway. She knew what he had done to me, so I would have never guessed that she was seriously fucking around with him. Our mothers were sisters. Journei was my favorite cousin growing up, and instead of playing the game like she was supposed to, she fucked and fell in love with the father of my child. It was childish of me to even ask her to do that, but I just wanted to know if he would give a new bitch a chance over me. In doing that, I learned that noteven family can be trusted. If the right opportunity presented itself, even the ones you loved would cross you. My own cousin went behind my back and crossed me like some suspenders.
After my mom saw my cousin at Jakari’s house and she had been ignoring our calls and texts, it was clear what was going on. Journei had a choice to make. Either she could help us take Jakari down, or she could deal with the consequences of betraying the family. My family was a lot of things, but we always stuck together and had zero tolerance for anyone who went against the grain. I was learning a hard lesson that no one could be trusted, and the people you loved most would be the first to betray you. If it was the last thing I did, everyone would have to pay for what was done to me.
The first thing on my to-do list was to get payback on Jakari and get his ass off these streets. The hardest part about all of this was having to be away from my son. I knew that in order to accomplish what I had set out to do, I would have to make a lot of sacrifices. I had every intention of sticking to the plan, taking Jakari down, and testifying against him.
When I met Serg one month after being in the program, all my plans changed. We were in the small town of Guthrie, Oklahoma. A place where I knew I wouldn’t bump into anyone from my past. Never did I imagine meeting someone that I would fall so hard for either.
Serg was a big-time drug dealer from Memphis. Everything about him was different. His accent and the way he carried himself—he was really that nigga. He never told me too much about his business, but I knew he had to have a good reason to turn on his people. He always spoke so highly on family, and I could see the regret he felt about being in the position he was in. If I was facing several consecutive life sentences, I would sing like a canary too.
I had become very self-conscious and didn’t like the person I saw in the mirror, that was, until I met Serg. I had just left my therapist’s office when I literally bumped into him as I was leaving the building. I gave him a crooked smile and apologized as I tried to hurriedly walk away. Serg ran after me and begged for my number. I reluctantly gave it to him, not thinking a nigga that fine was really interested in me. An hour later, he called and asked if he could come and see me. I linked with him and gave it up on the first night. We’d been inseparable ever since. It took me a while to tell him my story, only for him to tell me he was also in witness protection. He told me that he was only making the feds believe that he would help them until he came up with a plan to completely get out of it.
After finding out all the fucked-up shit that had been done to me back home, Serg told me that he wanted to help me get revenge on everyone who had hurt and harmed me. We both knew that if we left the program, there would be no turning back. Serg had no problem running. It was almost time for him to testify in court, and he swore that he wasn’t going to do that under any circumstances. In order to get out of jail, he agreed to a deal that he had no intention of sticking to. If he showed his face in court, he would for sure be a dead man. We agreed to handle my business back home, get my son, and start over fresh somewhere we couldn’t be found.
A week after leaving the program, Detectives Myers and Lee were blowing me up so bad that I had to ditch my cell phone. It took them longer than I thought to realize I was gone, and I used that to my advantage. It gave me time to stalk my prey. When my man bought me a burner phone, I was sure not to give anyone my number, not even my mom. I downloaded a text free app to communicate with Journei, but that was it. I made sure that Journei continued to work closely with the detectives in my absence. I no longer trusted her, so I didn’t tell her where I wasor what I was planning. Hell, none of my family knew what I was up to. If they didn’t know shit, then they couldn’t say shit.
As soon as we hit Texas, I made sure to keep a close eye on Jakari. While watching my baby daddy, I saw firsthand that he had gotten serious with my cousin. They spent a lot of undocumented time together. I never let her know I saw them; I just knew to keep her at a distance from now on, and I added her to my list of bitches who would get dealt with. Whenever I called her, I asked her questions I already knew the answer to, just to see if she would lie. She lied every time.
One thing I hated was a bitch who thought she was slicker than me. As good as Jakari’s sex was, I knew that if my cousin had fucked him, she was no longer on the right side of things. I only fucked that nigga once, and I had been trying to get it again ever since.
While my cousin had broken the code, I also learned that Jakari still stalked Harmoni. He would ride past her salon several times a week, and most of the time, he had my son with him. Never in my life had I seen a nigga so sad. He was really going out bad behind this basic ass bitch.
What infuriated me most was that Harmoni was living the real definition of relationship goals. She had bought Black a barbershop directly beside her salon, and they were really making noise together. Seeing that she was big and pregnant, Serg came up with the plan to snatch her and the baby. I wasn’t the smartest woman in the world, but when I did my calculations, I knew that Harmoni’s pregnancy was too far along to be Black’s baby. She was about to pop at any time, and if my math was mathing, it was a close call or it was Jakari’s baby.
I didn’t tell Serg my suspicions, but now I was even more eager to get my hands on that bitch and her little bastard child. It was personal for me, and if this was Jakari’s baby, that would change the whole game. I impatiently waited for her to givebirth. I didn’t know how we would do it, but we were definitely going to get my lick back. If Harmoni had a baby with J, that would ruin everything. I knew he would put JJ to the side for this bitch and her child. I’d seen him do it before. There was no way I would let that shit happen.
“What you thinking ’bout, bae? You quiet as hell today,” Serg said as he looked over at me.
We were sitting across the street from the barbershop, waiting to see if we could follow Black home. If we were going to pull this thing off, we needed to know where they laid their heads. Harmoni hadn’t been at her salon at all lately, so I now wondered if she had gone into labor yet.
“I’m good, bae. I’m just a little worried that my cousin may run her mouth and tell Jakari I’m not dead. She was supposed to be playing with his head, but the stupid bitch has really fallen for this nigga, and she keeps telling me lies. I’m nervous as hell. I just want this shit to go right,” I explained.
“Well, we at the wrong place, bae. You still have a key to her crib? I remember you telling me that y’all had keys to each other’s spot in case of emergency. This is that emergency.”
“Yes, I still got it.”
“What’s the Addy? We need to be there when she gets off work. That nigga Jakari always invites her over to his shit, so I’m sure he won’t be at her crib,” Serg insisted.
After I gave him the address, we headed to Journei’s place. I didn’t know what Serg was on, but he always had my best interest at heart from what I could tell. I would just go with the flow. When we made it to my cousin’s place, I let us inside. After that, I went into her dining room and poured Serg and me a drink from her bar cart.
We turned the TV on the new season ofBMFand talked until I heard Journei put her keys in the door. When she walkedinside and flicked on her light switch, she jumped. The look on her face when she saw me was of fear and pity.
I was now a lot thinner than I was the last time I had seen her, and my face was paralyzed on one side. I knew this was not what she expected me to look like. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I was no longer the bad bitch that I used to be.
“What’s up, cousin? You don’t look happy to see me,” I said as I stood and walked over to hug her.
“I am. I just didn’t know you would be here, especially unannounced. What if someone saw you, and who is this man?”
“That’s my man, Serg. We are here to talk to you about a few things. I just want to be sure that we’re on the same page, and my man thought it would be best if I came to see you in person to be sure,” I announced.
