“How did it feel seeing Jakari yesterday? Girl, that nigga wanted to burst out crying when he heard you were pregnant. His dumb ass wasn’t even thinking it could be his since it was so long ago that you let him hit,” Ciara joked as she passed me the popcorn we were sharing.
“Thank God I’m not showing as much as I should be. I wanna keep this a secret for the rest of my damn life. I don’t even want him to think it’s a possibility of him being the father. I really don’t care about him being hurt or sad! I was hurt and sad when I found out he had a two-year-old son that he named after our son. That nigga better gone on somewhere and suck that shit up like I had to. It hurts to see the person you love starting a family without you. That karma is a bitch, and one thing about it, it’s no escaping it.”
“You are correct. I just know you had a soft spot for that nigga, and y’all have history. I thought for sure you would have folded by now, but I guess him cheating and having a baby really fucked yo’ head up. I’m sorry you have to go through any of this. You don’t deserve this shit. I’m still just tripping off the whole situation. You need to write a book about this shit, cause whew! Do you think Diamond’s weird ass is dead? I really wouldn’t be sad if she was,” Ciara stated.
“I really hope she is because I don’t feel safe with that hoe being alive. She wants my life so bad that I would never fully be able to rest, knowing she will do anything to get to me. Not knowing if she fucked Rowdy or not is killing me because I know for a fact that he was buying her stuff and taking her and her son places. That shit hurts me. It’s like I can’t have shit to myself, thanks to this bitch! As far as Jakari is concerned, a baby is unforgivable, and I don’t give a fuck what history I have with a nigga,” I honestly spoke.
“I admire the fact that you got a strong mind and stand on principle. That’s why a nigga can never get over on you, and I love that for you. Just know that if you rockin’, I’m rollin’, no matter the situation. I always got your back.”
While we continued to watch shows, Ciara was engrossed in her phone, smiling from ear to ear. I tried to overlook it, but once she started laughing uncontrollably, I had to ask what was up.
“Who got you laughing like that? I know you ain’t still fuckin’ off with Smutty ass. Didn’t you catch that nigga with his wife?”
“Bitch, please! Smutty is history. I’m texting Trell’s crazy ass.” She smiled.
I instantly sat up and looked at her like she was crazy. That was a bad ass combination. Together, they would definitely be trouble. I begged her not to entertain him because I didn’t want anything to happen to her. She advised me that if anything, I needed to be concerned for Trell’s safety as opposed to hers. I couldn’t tell a grown woman what to do, but I definitely wouldn’t advise her to take him seriously. He was disrespectful and ruthless. Trell was always kind to me, but I had seen him get angry. He was a completely different monster when he was upset or felt disrespected, and Ciara’s mouth was definitely disrespectful.
Ciara went home the next day, and I just continued to relax and kick my feet up. Carmen was holding the shop down, and I told her that I would be in to work on the weekend, so I could have a few more days of rest. I made a nail appointment, and that was the only thing I really had to look forward to. If my nails and feet weren’t done, I felt like a straight bum.
Once I made it to my appointment, the first person’s face I saw was Dimeo. I wanted to turn around and leave the salon, but I wasn’t about to let her presence stop me from pampering myself. Our relationship had always been good, so I didn’t want to go in on her. I just hoped she wouldn’t say anything to me. I hated a fake ass person, and I hated to be lied to.
Once I was fully in the nail salon, the door buzzer went off, causing everyone to look toward the door. Dimeo stopped picking out her nail color and instantly walked over to me. I let out a deep sigh and tried to gather my thoughts before speaking to her. I was signing myself in when she approached me.
“Hey, Moni, girl! You are glowing, boo. I’m so glad to see you. I need to book an appointment,” Dimeo faked.
“Please hold the fake shit, Dimeo. I called you as a woman, and you lied to me like it was nothing. You knew Rowdy didn’t buy that luggage for you. All you had to say was no. You didn’t have to tell me who it was for or none of that. So, now our trust is broken, and if I can’t trust you, I can’t fuck with you in any way. You gotta find yourself a new stylist, boo,” I advised her and tried to walk off, but she grabbed my arm.
I gave her a look that could kill, causing her to instantly let me go.
“I just did what my cousin asked me to. At the end of the day, that’s my family. I knew that if he wanted me to lie, it had to be for a good reason. Rowdy is not a bad guy. I should have never been put in y’all shit in the first place, and that’s why I told him not to fuck with you from jump. I didn’t want anything to fuck up our relationship because I really do fuck with you, Harmoni, and ain’t nobody ever laid my shit like you do. I respect it, though,” Dimeo said before walking off and taking her seat.
I didn’t feel bad about my decision. I was tired of people getting over on me and playing in my face. Even if I decided to take my nigga back, I was gon’ show Dimeo to not allow the next person to fuck shit up for her. The girl code was no longer respected, and I couldn’t get with that. I got my nails and feet done, then I took myself to Razoo’s for lunch. The only thing I hated about going to places like that now was the fact that I could no longer drink, and Razoo’s had the best drinks ever. I had to watch everyone around me enjoying theirs while I sipped on my strawberry lemonade.
As I enjoyed my shrimp, crawfish, and chicken étouffée, I had an unwanted visitor slide across from me into the booth. I was so over this day. I kept having run-ins with people I did not want to see.
“Since we tracking locations, what’s good, Harmoni? I can do the same shit you did. And why did you change my locks?” Rowdy asked.
I continued eating my food as if I didn’t hear or see him, making a mental note to stop sharing my location with this nigga and take the whole app off my phone. I vowed to never pop up on him again, and I didn’t need him popping up on me. My lesson had been learned. I continued stuffing my face because this little boy had me hungry. When I looked up from my plate for one second, Rowdy was staring at me in amazement. That caused me to slow my eating down a bit. Something about the way he was just looking at me made me uncomfortable.
“You gon’ just ignore me like I’m not sitting here? I’m sorry fa real, Moni. Nothing I did was to hurt you, and I swear I did not touch Diamond. I bought her some shit to lure her in, just to snatch her and her kid. That’s all it was about. I couldn’t tell you that shit because you wouldn’t have understood or agreed to it. I wanted to keep that side of me hidden from you. When I found out that she knew anything about you, we already had her hostage, and right after that, I came to the crib to ask you. I didn’t know you even knew that nigga J until that day. My emotions were all over the place, and I’m sorry for not handling shit better. I don’t wanna live without you,” Rowdy pleaded.
“Listen, Rowdy, I don’t know if that’s the life I wanna live. I don’t want to raise my child around that shit, and what if this baby isn’t yours? You not gonna want me then, so let’s cut ties before it’s too late and somebody gets hurt.”
“It’s already too late. I fuckin’ love you, and if you let me show you, I’m gon’ be the best father in the world. I thought about the shit, and I think it’s best that whatever the outcome is, you let me raise the baby as mine. Anything that’s a part of you, I’m gonna love and cherish. I been praying, and that’s something a nigga ain’t done in a while. But I told the big man that if heallows this baby to be mine and you to take me back, I’m gonna start living right. Even if the baby is not mine, I promise not to treat him any less than I would if he was mine,” Rowdy spoke.
“It shouldn’t take that for you to live right. You gotta want better for yourself as well. I have decided that Jakari can never know that there was any possibility of him being the father of my baby. Regardless of if you and I end up together or not, he will not be anywhere near my child or me. I don’t care whose baby it is. It’s always gonna be mine, and I can do this shit by myself, honestly,” I blurted.
“You don’t have to, baby. Please just give me a chance to show you that I’m the same nigga you fell in love with. Please don’t judge me for handling business that needed to be handled. I regret pulling my gun on you, and you know I would never hurt you. Shit just looked crazy. Put yourself in my shoes,” Rowdy pleaded.
“I have. I know how shit looked, but I really thought we were better than that. I would have talked to you before I took the next person’s word. Can’t nobody tell me shit about my man, and I believe them. You just really disappointed me with this shit. In order to even a score, you allowed someone close to you who has done nothing but try to harm me. Luckily, she has been handled, but that was fucked up too. I can’t give you an answer right now. Just please continue to give me space until I decide.”
“I love you enough to do that. I will give you your space, but I won’t be too far away. If you call, just know that I’m coming. We are better than this shit. We gon’ be alright. You have to believe me when I say if I knew Diamond had harmed you in any way, shit would have gone way different. Baby, I promise I had no idea you knew her or Jakari. This shit was all because of some beef that was created in the streets when I first moved here. I’m gon’ let you enjoy your food, though. Call me if you need mefor anything, and let me know when you ready for me to come home.”
He leaned over the table and waited for me to lean forward and kiss him. After a few moments of him not moving, I decided to give him a kiss. As I placed my lips on his, he grabbed my face and forced his tongue into my mouth. Then, he sucked on my bottom lip, and it sent chills down my spine. This man knew I was weak behind him. I pulled back, and he smirked before walking away and leaving the restaurant. He knew exactly what he was doing.
After a long day, I was finally relaxing at home. Once I was out of the shower, I searched for something to watch and couldn’t find anything new. I decided to scroll on Facebook. When I went to my page, the first thing I saw was a picture of my man and me. I decided to unblock his number. I was thinking of what I would say when I called him, but before I got a chance, he was calling me.
“Yes, sir?” I answered.
