“I’d say I’m happy for you but right this minute, I can’t.”
And we leave it at that. Having kids in our world isn’t something most people get excited about, babies are seen as drains on income, and your time. My ma has made no secret how she was too young and naive having me. That if she knew then what she knows now, she wouldn’t have had me and my brothers. When I first heard it I was eleven and it hurt. Now I’m older, I get where she’s coming from.
16
Amelia
Taking my dad’s advice, I’m shopping for the baby’s nursery. Walking around the baby store, there’s so much to choose from. Between my dad and the internet, I’ve written a long list of everything I’ll need and before my dad left for the office this morning, he left me his credit card.
I’ve already chosen a cream-colored baby wardrobe and a chest of drawers. I’m stood between two cots and failing to see what’s so different between the two apart from the price. One’s drastically more expensive than the other and the only reason I can see as to why is one has a little carving of a teddy bear at the head.
I want the best for my little one, but it does seem such a waste of money that could be put to better use.
The bell over the door distracts me and I can’t believe who’s walking in. How does Darius know I’m here?
Noticing my face, he smirks and says, “I’ll always know where you are.”
“What areyoudoing here?”
“I’m going to need the same shit as you for when the kid stays with me. A home away from home so to speak.”
“My child is not staying in a house where there are drive-by shootings, Darius.”
It’s completely out of the question. How can he even think that would be a possibility?
Ignoring me, he runs his finger along the foot of the cot I was looking at.
“You like this one?” he asks.
“Can I help you today?” a bright, chirpy assistant asks from behind us.
“Yeah, we’ll take two of this one. Two of everything she picks out.”
The woman’s face lights up with the commission she’s about to make but all I can do is glare at the father of my child.
I want to ask him where he thinks he’ll set it all up in his house. I’ve been there numerous times, he doesn’t have a spare room. But I don’t want to be rude. Someone like Darius makes things happen.
I move along to look at the changing tables and he asks, “When’s your next doctor’s appointment?”
There’s no point in lying. “Next Tuesday.”
A week away and I dread what he’s going to come back with.
“At Angel East, I take it?” I nod. “I’ll be there and every single one after too.”
I stay quiet. I’m not going to argue with him in the middle of the store.
Everything I choose, he adds another and where I pay with my father’s card, he pays in cash. He rattles off his address after I’ve given mine and I go to leave when he subtly takes my hand and forces me to his side. He only releases me whenhe’sready to leave the store.
With nothing else to be said, I head for my car, noting his is parked behind mine and Jermaine is sat in the driver’s seat.
Unlocking my car, I slide in behind the wheel and dump my purse on the passenger seat, just for it to be thrown onto the tiny backseat when Darius sits next to me and makes himself comfortable.
“What are you doing now?” I ask, losing my patience.
“I need to speak to your dad. Let’s go.”
“He won’t be home for hours and I have an appointment I can’t rearrange, so if you could go get in your own car and we go our separate ways, that would be nice.”
