1
HAUNTING ATTICUS
ATTICUS
Ipull the seventy-pound dumbbell up from the floor, ignoring the screaming protest in my lat and bicep. It's not even noon, and it's my second time pumping iron since I woke up at 4:30.
"Fuck." I uncurl my fist from the bar as I finish the set. The old calluses strain while the newer blisters ache and sting. Lately, I've needed at least three sessions in the gym every day to be able to fall asleep at night, but my body is starting to pay for it.
I give my shoulder a cautious roll and check the clock.
It's getting close to lunchtime.
Chimichurri steaks and grilled vegetables today. Eventually, I'll make something Aurora can't refuse.
Maybe the ninety-dollar cuts of Wagyu beef meticulously marinated in garlic and parsley sauce will be the thing that breaks her.
It's been ten days since she told me she doesn't exist for me anymore.
Ten days, and every fucking one of them, her silence is like a knife in my gut. The lack of her presence like a ghost in every room. Haunting me.
I’ve survived war. I’ve survived torture and betrayal. I’ve survived things that would break most men. But this? Her absence while she's standing right in front of me?
This might be the thing that finally makes me crack.
I hoped it wouldn't last, but I underestimated her determination. I've beenunderestimating her since the first moment I saw her.
It takes thirty minutes for me to wipe, scrub, and sweep out the gym, leaving no trace of myself in the space aside from a few extra towels in the laundry bin by the door. I'll empty it later.
I see Eli down the hall as I exit and rush to catch him before he heads out back.
"Hey. Wait up a sec."
A muscle in his jaw flexes, and he's got that look. The one he's reserved only for me since the incident. It speaks volumes without him needing to say a goddamned word.
Sev and Eli might have forgiven me, but they've made it clear that they support Aurora's choice to cut me out like some sort of cancerous growth.
"What is it?"
"Everything's in place," I tell him. "Just waiting on confirmation from my contact at the university and then we'll be good to go."
"Okay."
My teeth clench.Okay?
"Meaning we'll need to go over the plan," I explain, trying to keep the acid in my chest from tainting my tone. "Allof us."
Eli sighs, pinching the space between his eyes. "Dude, you can tell us and we'll tell her."
"Could you just—" My fists curl, and heat spreads across my back like brushfire. "Could you just ask her? If she has to learn everything secondhand, something is going to get fucked up, andif something gets fucked up, then she could be at risk and I won't be able to?—"
"Fine," he interrupts. "You made your point. I'll talk to her."
I should be relieved, but my gut tenses instead.
What if she refuses?
"Atticus?"
