‘I’ve been stupid too, holding on to all this resentment…’
‘It’s understandable.’ She placed the glass on the table beside her and stood up. ‘I want to wish you well. And Seán. Your mother did a very fine job with you two boys. She was a wonderful woman.’
He managed to nod. ‘We were lucky to have her.’ Unlucky to have him, however. ‘How are you getting home?’
‘I’m going to get on the train into the city centre and then the bus to Midleton,’ she said. ‘No doubt I will see your father when he comes to pick up his things. I’ll have them all boxed up ready for him.’ She sounded resolute, as though she was gathering strength by the minute.
‘I’ll get you a taxi.’ He carried her case downstairs and just as they turned from the stairs into reception, he put the case down. ‘I’ll see if we can get one straight away.’ He smiled at her and turned, but then Rosie appeared from the office, quickly walking towards them. She took one look at Sandra, standing with her small case, and seemed to understand the whole situation.
‘I’m leaving,’ said Sandra. ‘I hope that’s okay. To leave early and all that…’
‘I was going to call her a taxi,’ said Patrick. ‘To the station in Sandycove.’
‘I’ll drive you,’ said Rosie, immediately. ‘Let me go and get the car.’
In a few minutes, she pulled up in the Land Rover and Patrick placed Sandra’s suitcase in the boot, while Sandra climbed into the front, and without hesitation he hopped into the back. He and Rosie locked eyes for a moment through the rear-view mirror.
‘How are you getting home?’ Rosie asked Sandra.
‘I’ll take the bus to Cork and then change for Midleton,’ said Sandra. ‘I’ll be grand. Want to be on the road, you know?’
They rattled down the hill and soon they were pulling up outside the station. Patrick stepped out and retrieved the suitcase from the back and he waited while Sandra checked she had her phone and her purse. She looked up at him, holding out her hand to shake his, but instead he put his arms around her.
‘You mind yourself, okay?’ he said, hugging her. ‘If there’s anything I can do, let me know.’ He understood what it was like to live with a charming bully like Brian, to be taken in by him, to want to impress him, and then to ultimately realise that you were on a fool’s errand. ‘And if he gives you any bother, just call me or Seán and we will help.’
For a moment, he thought he saw tears in Sandra’s eyes, but she gave her head a small shake and plastered on a smile and then, with a last look at Patrick and a quick, resolute nod and a wave to Rosie, she set off.
Back in the Land Rover, Rosie beside him, he tried to focus, pulling on the seat belt. ‘Thanks for that.’ For a moment, he wondered how all this had happened. You came back to Ireland and your entire emotional history was read back to you. It was a lot.
‘Okay?’ she asked gently.
He nodded. ‘I don’t think I ever told you how much of a waste of space my father was.’
‘No. But I guessed.’
‘Did you?’
‘You never spoke about him, and yet you told me about your mother and about Seán. You never shut up about them…’ She grinned at him.
He smiled back. ‘Silence speaks volumes. But what do I say to him? How do I end this?’
‘I think you stand up for the boy you were. Work out what you want from him.’
‘Nothing?’
‘Maybe that’s what you need. You don’t owe him anything.’
‘But my poor mother. Sandra. Seán…’
‘You all deserved so much better.’
‘We did. We really did.’ He never did this, emoted, his voice wobbling and all that. ‘I feel,’ he said, ‘a little better.’
‘Good.’
‘I really do.’
‘All in a day’s work.’ Rosie looked back at Patrick. ‘Did Lucinda ever say anything to you about me, or about us?’
