Relief flooded through me. At least I hadn’t pushed him away completely. “No,” I said, holding back a laugh. What he’d said about me was true. Ever since Shitty Peter and I broke up, I’d said I wanted to be alone, and that was exactly what I’d gotten. “You were right about me.”
Alex held my gaze. “Maybe you were right about me too.”
“I’m serious about paying you back for that flight I didn’t take.”
Alex put his arms behind his head and looked up at the sky. “I told you, it was an early birthday present.”
Which was what I figured he’d say, so I let it go.
“Remember when you asked me what Samson was like?”
Alex turned his face to me. “Yes.”
“And I said he was great.”
“You did.”
I watched the palm trees sway in the breeze. “Will you ask me that question again?”
Alex sat up. No almost smile touched his lips, but his expression was kind. “What was he like?”
I closed my eyes, picturing Samson as he’d been the last time I saw him. He’d come with Mark to drop me off at the airport. Before wheeling my suitcase inside, I’d turned back to wave, and Samson was already hanging out the window, waving back with both hands, laughter in his eyes. “He was... busy, for one. Energetic like Greyson.” I laughed, remembering how I’d once told Samson he’d probably found every good climbing tree in Palm Beach. “He was crawling, and I mean full-on crawling, not army crawling, at six months. Walking at nine. I caught him climbing a windowsill when he was two. He was always climbing things.”
“What else?”
“He loved baseball, plants, and video games. He never cared what anyone thought, even when they said he was girlie for liking flowers. Hewas kind, but you’d regret it if you made him mad. You can ask Kitty about that. They were always at each other’s throats. The last few years we’d, uh...” I took a slow breath, the memory sharp and painful. “We’d call each other right at midnight on our birthday, so we’d be the first ones to say happy birthday to each other. My sister didn’t know about that, she’s strict with bedtimes.”
I tried not to cry, but it was impossible, because I missed him. What was I supposed to do at midnight on my birthday this year when my phone didn’t ring? “I know I’m not supposed to have favorites,” I said. “And I love Mia and Kitty so much it hurts, but Samson was my favorite. We just had this... bond.” I wiped my eyes with Alex’s shirt I hadn’t yet changed out of. “That’s what I meant to say when I told you he was great.”
“You must miss him a lot.”
“Yeah, I do.”
Neither of us spoke for a while. All morning as we’d raced from place to place in pursuit of Mia and Kitty, I thought about what Alex had said about trying long-distance. I loved being around him, listening to him sing, watching him cook, having him close.I lovedhim.But the events of the last two days had only made me more certain long-distance wasn’t what I wanted.
“Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“I can’t do long-distance.”
“I know.”
I sat up in my chair, pivoting to face him. We were only inches apart, which was too far for me. I crossed the space between us and sat beside him, feeling the warmth of his thigh against mine. He watched me, silent, and I ran a hand through his hair, unable to keep myself from touching him any longer.
“But I don’t want to keep my distance either,” I said. “I want to be together until you leave, even if it makes things harder when you go.”
His eyes searched mine, and he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” I stared at him, wanting to keep him forever in my mind exactly how he was now. I memorized the way his hair curled at the nape of his neck, the precise angle of that almost smile, the exact shade of his eyes, more amber than honey, really. He took my face gently in his hands, that intense look in his eyes again, and I was sure I’d die if he didn’t kiss me right then.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait, because the next moment he leaned in, brushing his lips against mine. The kiss was intimate, unlike our kiss at the bar when we were strangers. Tender, unlike the desperate kisses in the parking lot of the karaoke restaurant. My hands found his shoulders and I tugged him down on top of me, kissing him until I forgot where I was. When he pulled away, I felt light-headed in the best possible way. But already, the distance between us was too much, and I tried not to think about how much I’d miss him when he left.
He hovered over me, out of breath, eyes all mischief. “Friends?”
“Absolutely not,” I said, the two of us laughing as I pulled him to me once more.
Twenty-Two
