“Are… you staying?” The hope must have been written across my face.
“That’s the awkward part.”
I grimaced. “Tea. Would tea help?”
Petey nodded, and I hollered for Bramley.
“No, don’t bother Bramley.”
“But I’ve already called him.”
“I’m happy with the gas ring up in the folly,” he said. “Actually, I’d prefer it. If that’s OK with you?”
I smiled. Bramley would be shuffling towards us at pace on his two-hundred-year-old hips. I could hear the squeak getting closer by the second.
“Of course,” I said. “I can’t wait to see Bramley’s face when you tell him you prefer my tea to his.”
In the folly, I sent Petey Boy straight upstairs to the study while I boiled the kettle and made the tea. It meant I had a good ten minutes to gather my thoughts. It also meant Petey had time to do what I knew he would do, and snoop. After five minutes, I heard the unmistakable thwunk of my father’s secret drawer being opened. My heart was thumping like a jackrabbit having a wank. I knew Petey would be reading a note that said:If you’re reading this, then you came back. Welcome home. I’m so glad you’re here. x. It was on Buckford letterhead and dated with today’s date.
The cuckoo clock announced four o’clock as I climbed the stairs with the tea. Petey was sitting in his usual armchair with my note open in his hands.
“I might not have found this for a whole year,” he said as I put his tea down in front of him.
“I know.”
“But you knew you’d be happy to see me?”
“Yes.”
His face had crumpled like a tissue, but he was refusing to cry. I didn’t like seeing him so distressed. I reached across and grabbed his hand.
“Why do you have so much faith in me?”
I fished Petey’s note out of my pocket. It was battered and looking worse for wear, but I carefully unfolded it and put it on the coffee table between us.
“You said you’d be back. You gave me your word.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his hand reaching across to grab mine. “I’m sorry for the silent treatment. I’m sorry for making our last days together an absolute misery.”
“It’s OK. You’re here now.”
Petey seemed to cringe.
“I’m sorry too,” I said. “I meant to invite you to stay because I wasn’t ready for you to leave. I should have said that. I should have said I wanted to spend more time with you rather than trying to strong-arm you with stupid warnings about paparazzi. That was clumsy. Disrespectful.”
Petey frowned and took a deep breath.
“When you grow up with really controlling parents, you either accept it and go with it, like my brother and sister did, or you rebel and become hyper-independent. So, yeah, you saying you wanted to protect me was kind of triggering.”
“I’m sorry.”
Petey shook his head. “It’s not your fault. I think I was also a little scared, if I’m honest. I don’t normally let people get close to me. I have friends, obviously, and my gran. But, William, I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve neverwanteda boyfriend. I’ve let you get closer than anyone else. You’re gorgeous and hilarious, and you’re literally the first man who ever wanted to spend time with me for my mind and my personality, not just my body.”
“To be clear, I am also very taken with your body.”
“Noted. Thank you. The point is, when you suggested I stay, I think it freaked me out. So I started treating you like shit to make myself feel like I was still me. The old me, the me who doesn’t get attached. Even when I was being a prick, I think I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’m so sorry.”
I leant closer to him. “But you came back.”
