I did not. Instead, I took the small bag of the broken mug pieces from its place on the counter and left.
I took only Bart with me today. This morning was just as mild – if not even more so – than yesterday. The snow was mostly slush now, opaque and white in places, but obviously nearly gone. Lualhati would not have been able to do the sledding today.
What if she had received that ring before we’d done what we’d done?
Would it even matter? She had it now, and seemed to only want distance from me despite what had happened between us.
Surely, she would not go back to him. Would she?
I could not believe she would. The man had shuldu shit for brains. He’d betrayed her. He did not deserve her. Frankly, I did not even think he really deserved to breathe after what he’d done. Let alone live on to send her letters and rings.
I ruminated on this question the entire day as I worked on the hospital. Lualhati wanted a child, and soon. Perhaps returning to this male, though undeserving of her as he was, would be easier than attempting parenthood alone. Lualhati had mentioned her age as a point of concern. She felt as if she might be running out of time. Perhaps this would seem a more efficient route. To get pregnant with him instead of beginning a long, potentially draining round of medical procedures.
The mere suggestion that he would impregnate her – rut her, fill her – sent me seething.
“Warden Hallum?” Rivven’s voice cut through the blinding fog of my rage.
“Yes,” I grunted.
“I think you may need to replaced that board.”
I blinked, finally noticing that the nail I’d been hammering into the floorboard beneath my knees had been driven all theway through the wood. And the wood itself was now destroyed, splintered by the force of my blows.
I had not even noticed.
“Thank you, Rivven,” I said, frustrated with myself but grateful to him anyway. If he hadn’t been there to say something, I felt as if my anger could have carried me all the way down to the core of the planet before I’d stopped to notice.
I replaced that ruined board and continued working. Lualhati’s room in the hospital was nearly ready. The roof was not on yet, but the rest was finished. Including all her closets.
If space was what she wanted from me, she would get it. She’d be living here for the rest of her contract.
If she even finished out her contract.
Lualhati was not the sort of person to go back on her word. I knew this about her. Knew her values, her deep-rooted sense of responsibility that mirrored my own. And yet, doubts still stabbed at me. Doubts that told me she would leave as soon as she could. Because this world, this contract, thiswarden, would not be enough to hold her now.
When the sun began its trek towards the horizon, I readied myself to return to the station and to her. But I didn’t leave quite yet. I had one more thing I wanted to accomplish today.
I took out all the jagged pieces of her mug and asked Rivven to pass me the glue.
21
LUALHATI
After Warden Hallum left, I finally emerged. The first thing I did was chuck the letter right into the fire of the stove. I’d read it enough times by now. I didn’t need it anymore.
Bryson spent the first paragraph complaining that I hadn’t responded to any of his messages (messages I hadn’t even received, since I hadn’t tapped into the boosted signal from the tower on the property.) Then, he complained about how much it was costing him to send the ring out here.
He claimed it would all be worth it, though. If only I’d come back to him.
Fat fucking chance. The fact he only bothered to get me a ring after he’d realized he’d lost me was goddamn laughable.
The entire letter, he didn’t apologize once.
I watched it burn, my eyes feeling puffy and dry. I hadn’t slept well, and I’d spent some of the night crying. Not because I missed Bryson. But because the ring showing up had felt like an unwelcome intrusion. It had forced me to confront the memories of what had happened. Coming out here to Zabria Prinar One had been a perfect sort of escape. But it also let mebury my head in the sand a bit. Maybe I’d never truly processed the way our relationship had ended.
Well, I was processing it now, that was for damn sure. It was why I’d retreated into my room last night. Why I’d decided to stay home today. I needed a bit of time alone. Time alone to be angry and sad without anyone seeing.
I wasn’t sure what to do with the ring. My instinct was that I should just send it back. He could give it to his mistress, whoever she was, for all I cared. But no way in hell was I going to spend any of my hard-earned money on shipping it back to him. If I did send it back, I’d be sending it with a fucking invoice attached, billed to his fucking name.
