Red alert! Warning!
Warden Hallum knew what a dildo was!
SOS!
Save our sex toys!
Or save our sanity…
“How do you…” I sputtered. “What even…”
“It was briefly mentioned in the book that Tasha wrote,” he explained. “She provided a small section on human modes of masturbation.”
Human modes of masturbation.
That he now knew I participated in.
“This is yours?” he asked. He frowned.Again. And then muttered, “Why the blazes did you have to choose a purple one?”
“It’s not mine!” I squawked, still trying to get across the cluttered room to him. I was huffing and puffing like I was trying to climb a damn mountain. And I was making about the same amount of progress that I’d make mountain climbing. Which was next to none.
Thunder moved over his features.
“This is not yours? Who has tampered with your boxes, then? Could this have happened on the shuttle?” With his free, non-dildo-holding hand, he retrieved his data tab. He looked like he was about to start making some very important calls about finding the scoundrel who’d meddled with my luggage. The scoundrel being me, of course.
“Put that away! It is mine,” I panted, finally reaching him. I yanked the stiff purple toy from his hand. “But it’s notminemine. It’s…It’s an educational tool!”
His gaze pinged back and forth from my hot, sweaty face to my hand.
When he spoke next, there was a crackle of warning in his words. “And just who, doctor, do you plan on educating with such an item?”
My nipples prickled.
Stupid nipples! Shut up! Stand down!
“Well, er, Xennet and Dorn, of course!”
“You do not…” He looked like he was going to try to steal my dildo back from me. I didn’t think he’d have any trouble doing it, if he really set his mind to it. “You do not mean to use it on yourself? In front of them?”
“What?! No! Of course not! That would be insane! I just…Based on what Tasha has told me, I figured they might need a little bit of extra, uh, guidance in the, er, lady department. It’s like a visual aid!”
“I have taught them the contents of the document,” he said, very seriously. “We have examined the illustrations many times.”
“That’s great!” I replied. “But they might require more, um,specializededucation. And a chance to ask questions. From an actual human woman. And doctor! Since I am one of those! Ha! Ha!”
At least, I was a doctor until someone took my medical license away from me. For being a dildo-wielding lunatic.
Somehow, Warden Hallum did not seem to notice or care that I was having a minor mental breakdown right in front of him. He merely made a grunting sound of thoughtful agreement.
“This is a good idea,” he said. “I have done my best with their lessons using the material provided, but I do not have adequate experience to assist them further in these matters.”
“Because you don’t have a human wife, you mean?” I asked. “I’m sure your other experience with Zabrian women would be at least a little useful to them. They’ve got no experience at all! They’ve been here since they were children!”
“Yes,” he conceded. “But I do not have any either.” At my confused look, he added, “Any sexual experience with women.”
“Oh! Sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. Men, then?”
Now it was his turn to look confused.
