I squeeze my eyes tight as Jas’s hit me square in the chest.
Her grandmother is about to die, and we now can’t get a hold of her to let her know, for her to say goodbye to the woman she saw as a mother figure.
Fuck I feel like I can’t breathe.
“She called me, Logan,” Granny whispers out of the blue, her words hitting me and I shoot my head up in shock, my eyes wide as they lock with her teary ones.
She called her…
Jasmine called her…
“Is she okay?” I choke, my voice raw with so much emotion, and Granny shakes her head as a few tears fall.
“No, she’s not, she cried the whole time she was on the phone, which was for over an hour, Logan,” she croaks as she gently squeezes my hand, and my eyes tear up.
So many fucking emotions are running through me right now.
Jealously.
Anger.
Hurt.
Pain.
Relief, so much fucking relief because she’s alive…
I clench my jaw to stop myself from bawling my fucking eyes out as Granny whispers, “She wouldn’t tell me why she left. She sounded so down, Logan my boy, she kept asking about you, asking if you’ve moved on, if you were happy, like she needed the reassurance that you made a life without her.”
And here comes the blinding fucking anger yet again.
I got her name tatted for fuck’s sake, she knew what that meant, she knew I wanted to spend forever with her.
I shake my head, my temper rising like it always does when I think of my girl, and I mutter, “There is never going to be someone else other than her. I haven’t been happy since the day before she left.”
And she left without a single word to me. She left me, instead of coming to me, asking me for help with whatever was going on, without explaining what scared her. She fucking left, breaking my heart.
Fuck, after leaving her parents' ridiculously large, gated house, I was that much of a mess, I fucked up and nearly allowed Lyndsey to suck me off. Dad walked in on her, dropping to her knees in the garage, and kicked her out, stopping me from making a massive fucking mistake before demanding to know when I started fucking Mama’s best friend.
I muttered,“When I was sixteen and forced to go to a stupid ass dance I didn’t want to go to,” before I walked away from him, leaving him reeling knowing his teenage son was fucking groomed and went along with it because of his wife continuously pushing shit on me that I didn’t want and I went home to fall apart before speaking to Dirty to help me try and find her.
I’ve been lost without her these past six years, only living day by day for the club and every fucking day that goes by and I don’t hear from her, my heart breaks and the fact that I managed to get my medical license was a miracle.
I’ve spent the past six years hiding my true feelings, fuck, I haven’t even said one word to my mother after she tried to give me an engagement ring a week after Jas left for Kate. Demanding I propose, claiming I owed her for not being a fucking girl like a crazy bitch, though it hasn’t stopped her from trying to speak to me, trying to shove Kate down my fucking throat every chance she gets.
“I know there is no one else for you, and I told her so, I made sure she understood the pain she has put you through, how selfish she has been to leave without an explanation to me, to Reg and to you,” Granny whispers as she tries to grip my hand, and I drop my head as she chokes, “I made sure she knew that you would never love anyone else.”
The last time I heard from Jas was a text asking if we could talk. It sounded urgent, but she said she loved me so I didn’t panic, I didn’t think anything of it until I finished class and I realized I never heard back from her after I replied and something in my gut niggled at me.
I rushed home, only the house was empty, Jas nowhere to be found and even though her clothes were still hanging up in our closet, which are still there now, her perfumes, jewelry that I bought her, all still in the same place, I knew she was gone, I could fucking feel it.
“Did she, has she moved on?” I reluctantly ask quietly, my heart in the pit of my stomach at the thought of her settling down.
It’s been six years, she must have right?
“No,” Granny instantly denies, and I try not to show any emotion as I squeeze my eyes tight, keeping my head down. “She said she’s just been working, but I could hear the loneliness in her voice.”
Yet she left, she cut all contact.
