Mama won’t let me get away, she’ll lock me up until I marry Bruce, until he’s raped me several times and knocked me up with his kid. I now see I won’t be able to rely on the club. Not if Logan’s mama is threatening to kill me, because let's face it, she means it, she will kill me. I see the similarities with my own mother.
Damn, I’m about to go and break not just me but also the man I love more than anything and I know deep down I need to speak to Logan but-but what if she harms him too?
What if my mother does as she promised?
Sobs tear out of me as I slowly move down the bed from my sitting position and turn on my side, the pain shooting through me making it hard to breathe, the broken rib throbbing like abitch but I don’t move, instead I cry my heart out for a few minutes, letting myself have this for just a moment before trying to take a few deep breaths knowing I need a plan, I need to get into action.
I need to see Granny to tell her goodbye, to visit Uncle Charms, and hope he can help me. I need to leave, and soon, especially before Mama comes after me, acting like the concerned parent.
“I’m so sorry, Logan,” I choke as I squeeze my eyes tight before getting up slowly, knowing I need to take action.
I need to protect myself.
I need to protect them.
Chapter 5
Tank – Age Twenty-Nine
“How are you feeling, Granny?” I ask quietly as I sit forward on the chair and grab her hand, the woman in her late eighties looking so fucking frail, and sadness fills me as I lock eyes with light blue ones that look so much like my girl’s at the heartbreak that shines back at me, the pain.
Her heart is failing. I did the tests my fucking self, and she is one heart attack away from leaving me, or not getting to see her granddaughter again after she disappeared without a word six years ago breaking her heart and shattering mine.
“Tired,” she whispers, and I nod as I gently rub my thumb over her paper-like skin.
Six years I’ve been coming to see this woman every Tuesday, six years making sure she was comfortable, six years allowing her to celebrate all the achievements I’ve gotten, even becominga doctor earlier than my peers, working nights in the ER. I’ve ensured to make sure she was involved with everything while keeping my brothers at a distance about my whereabouts, about my pain, not willing to put my shit on them right now, or fuck, ever.
Over the past few years, some have struggled, especially Trigger, who cheated on Ashley like a fucking idiot.
They’ve just had another baby, adding to their family after having their son Cole in high school, which is why they married so quickly to begin with.
The beautiful baby who looks just like his father spent a while in NICU after Ashley was attacked and went into early labor twenty weeks before her due date. Don’t get me fucking started on Anchor, whose girl was taken by the now dismantled Pillars.
Summer's own mother sold her to the group where she was held for a year and a half, and Anchor believed she’d gone back to her ex-boyfriend before the truth hit him in the face and he found her naked and bloodied in a cage with hundreds of others.
After she tried hanging herself, an ex-clubwhore just managing to hold her up while she was dangling, Summer killed her mother while Anchor killed her ex but it didn’t stop Summer’s nightmares. Last week I helped her give birth to a baby boy that was conceived by rape and though she was adamant to put the baby up for adoption, I managed to convince her to hold him after Anchor begged me with his eyes to pass him over to her, wanting to keep the baby because he was a part of his wife.
Thankfully, after holding him, Summer changed her mind about the adoption. She kept the baby, and honestly, she’s an amazing mama. Even though she has her bad days and struggles, the woman is healing slowly with the help of her husband andtheirbaby, Kai Logan – yes, after me – Mathews.
That was a proud fucking moment, but I couldn’t help but feel jealous, I guess is the right word.
I should have been married by now with at least four kids, but I’m not. Instead, I’m broken and keeping everything bottled up inside.
My girl left me after two years of building a life together with no explanation, taking my heart with her.
“She’s left town after disgracing the family,” the woman before me sneers, her plastic face not even breaking out a line despite the anger that etches from her, and my jaw ticks as she looks at me up and down with disgust, her eyes lingering on my cut, burning with rage.
Have to admit, I understand now what Jas meant when she said her mother was an ice queen.
The bitch literally thought she was better than me, than my club, and I understood why Jasmine didn’t want her family to know about us in that moment. How much shit they would have caused for us, especially after her dick of a brother started on me and I was close to shooting the fucker.
I press my lips to Granny’s cold hand as I hold it before sighing, the weight of my pain from the last six years without my girl drowning me.
Jasmine has vanished off the face of the earth. I had Dirty, the only fucking brother aware of my girl, trying to find her, but he couldn’t. Even after contacting Leads, a brother who was our tech guy for years, teaching Dirty all he knew before he went nomad, couldn’t find her.
I feel like I’m drowning every goddamn day, like I can’t breathe, fuck, I’m watching my brothers slowly fall in love, settle down and have kids. Here I am, struggling because my girl left me without an explanation that I can’t seem to get over, and when Granny called Reginald, Jas’s uncle, in tears because my girl at least gave Granny the grace of saying goodbye, the fuckerended up admitting my girl saw him before she left. He helped her disappear, and I swear I have never felt so fucking angry in my life, and for months I refused to speak to the fucker knowing if I did, I’d kill him.
After helping Jas disappear, the idiot forgot to get the name she chose and the details of where she’ll be fucking going, and obviously she never told him why she needed to go, only that she had to, so he helped her. Now he’s kicking himself because none of us can find her, not even in my personal opinion, the two best techies I know and like fuck am I getting the club involved. None of them even know Jas exists and they’ve dealt with enough shit.
