‘You have not been yourself since Drake Vennor arrived.’
Evelyn stared at her maid. Did she know about her love for Drake? Was it that obvious?
‘I am not sure what you mean,’ said Evelyn carefully.
Tilly began to turn down the bed. ‘It must be terrible being told how to paint by someone who, not long ago, dug holes for a living.’ She extracted Evelyn’s nightgown from a drawer and gave it a vigorous shake. ‘The arrogance of the man. I don’t know how you manage to bear it.’ She laid the nightgown on the bed, splaying out its white cotton panels. Evelyn’s cheeks burned. She was glad Tilly had her back to her and was taking such an interest in the floral embroidery that lined the modest neckline. ‘He has no respect for his betters . . . or women. I knew it the first time he walked into the kitchen.’
‘You sound like you do not like him,’ said Evelyn, surprised at her maid’s dislike for Drake. She had always thought they worked well together. It appeared that way when Tilly tended her during her Rest Cure treatment.
‘I’ve seen the likes of him before. They leave a trail of broken hearts behind them.’
Evelyn didn’t want to hear any more. ‘I would like to undress myself tonight. You may go, Tilly.’ Evelyn smiled to soften her dismissal. ‘It is nothing you have done or said,’ she reassured her. ‘I just want some time alone. I am sure I am quite capable of undressing myself for once. Thank you.’
Tilly left, her brow knotted with concern.
My maid thinks I am acting oddly, thought Evelyn, all because I wish to prepare myself for bed. Perhaps she was, but did it matter? Evelyn suddenly felt the urge to scream, or laugh, or both, at the ridiculousness of the situation. The expectations placed on a lady of her breeding were heavy and, in truth, not funny at all. She felt the invisible shackles that censored her every deed, thought and word, more keenly than ever before . . . and Drake was to blame.
Tilly had been right, ever since Drake had returned her equilibrium had been disrupted. She felt unsettled and dissatisfied. It was cruel of him to return and remind her of everything she could never have.
* * *
It was raining by the time Evelyn reached the head gardener’s lodge. Her decision to come was so sudden, that she took neither jacket nor shawl. She stood on the threshold, shaking with an emotion she could not name and dared not examine. She lifted her fist and banged angrily on the door. Drake opened it almost immediately and, for the first time, as his eyes raked over her, she became aware of her rain soakeddress, her loose fair hair beaded with droplets of rain and her shocking behaviour of visiting a man alone. She felt that her heart would burst from the thrill that coursed through her.
Without speaking, she pushed past him and went inside. She spotted his drawings immediately. Three detailed landscapes, which translated his plans to perfection, lay on the table. She moved closer to look at them. He had not needed her to paint for him at all.
‘You were avoiding me,’ said Drake behind her. ‘I had to think of something.’
Her anger began to slowly drain away from her. She began to shake, but it was not from the cold. ‘You told me you left to save me.’
‘It was better for you that I left.’
‘Don’t tell me what is best for me, Drake. I have been told my whole life what would be best for me.’
‘Why are you here?’
‘Because I was angry with you!’
‘Are you angry with me now?’
Was she? She shook her head. There was no point in lying.
He took a step towards her. ‘I came back to see you because I still love you. I should have returned a long time ago, but I was afraid.’ He touched her arm and this time she did not flinch away. ‘Afraid you would have come to your senses and see me for who I was . . . a filthy labourer with no future.’
Evelyn stared at his hand on her arm. She dared not look at him, too frightened that she would see he was lying, but then his hand slipped around her and she felt his cheek against hers. A sigh escaped her. He spoke the truth, she could feel it.
‘I have thought of you every day,’ whispered Drake into her hair. ‘When I received your father’s letter I thought, maybe I am now worthy to return.’
His mouth sought hers, but it was too much, too soon. She pushed him away and took a step back. It was what her father and Mawgan would expect her to do. It was what Tilly would expect her to do.
Drake was looking at her, his brows creased with worry, his mind trying to read hers. ‘I’m sorry. I should not have done that.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘You came here to see me tonight, Evie. Why are you here?’ He raised his dark eyes to meet hers and braced himself. ‘What does Miss Evelyn Pendragon want?’
What did she want? No one had ever asked her before. Her heart thumped so loudly she felt her body vibrate with each beat. She recognised the soul in his eyes and felt the pull of desire for his body. The first she knew so well, the second she longed to discover. Neither, she was permitted to do.
‘She wants to be free.’ Her uncensored answer surprised them both. Something changed between them.
‘And what does Evie want?’ asked Drake softly.
Evelyn no longer had the strength to pretend. She knew he saw through her.
