Emma fought back tears. How she wished Rosie might be with her right now. Rosie always had a way of comforting her, even if it was with her religious views.
Never had Emma’s heart been so heavy. Not even when she’d hurt Mama by declaring her desire to forgo God and Christianity. Then, Emma had ignored the sense of guilt, but at the moment she couldn’t begin to avoid it. Guilt consumed her. Overwhelmed her.
How she wished she could pace the floor, but the medicine they’d given her clouded her mind and made her body feel incapable of obeying directions. She was swimming in a haze of regret and despair.
Had Tommy gone to hell?
She was so uncertain of how it all worked, despite having a dozen memorized Scriptures come to mind. Why hadn’t she paid more attention? She knew she’d heard plenty of sermons about souls who were condemned without Jesus, but what about those who had accepted Jesus and then hid from Him after that?
“Who are you fooling, Emma John—Benton? You didn’t just hide from Him; you denied Him. Denied Him like Peter did in the Bible. You didn’t want to follow His rules. You wanted to have fun.” Her whispered voice seemed to echo in the silent room.
Tears flowed at this thought. She had done so many foolish things. She’d ignored doing anything of value with her life, and she most assuredly had ignored God. Could she be forgiven? Would God be willing to take her back again? How she wished there was someone she could ask. It might be too late for Tommy; she didn’t know. Maybe in the moment he faced that gun, the truth had come back to him. Maybe he sought forgiveness. She couldn’t know.
To her surprise, the door to her room opened just a bit, and her stepmother, Lucille, peered inside.
“I hope I didn’t wake you,” she said, smiling.
“No, no.” Emma sniffed back tears and dabbed her face with the edge of the sheet. “Please come in. I was just wishing I could talk to someone.”
Lucille slipped into the room. “I know it’s past visiting hours, but I felt the need to come here. I told your father that something compelled me to see you.”
“It’s God.” Emma’s tone was hushed and filled with awe. Did He still care for her after all she’d done?
“God?” Lucille came to Emma’s bedside and took hold of her hand.
“Yes.” Emma nodded and met Lucille’s kind gaze. “I’ve been so wrong to put God from me. You can’t imagine the guilt I feel. It’s pressing down on me like nothing I’ve ever known before. I fear the worst for Tommy and can’t bear to go on without making things right with God.”
“Oh, my dear girl, that blesses my heart to hear. I know how hard your mother prayed for this day. We both did.”
“You prayed for me?”
“Of course. Your mother and I were good friends; you know that. She used to grieve over your desire to put God out of your life. She asked me to pray with her. On her death bed, she made me promise I would never stop praying for you to find your way back to God. She just knew that you would.”
“She did?” Emma felt the first tiny bit of hope. “How could she be so sure?”
“She knew the truth, and that God would one day make it clear to you. You were her prodigal son—or daughter, in this case.” Lucille brushed back Emma’s hair from her face. “A mother never gives up hope that her child will find their way home.”
“Oh, Lucille ... I want so much ... I want to make thingsright. I don’t know how. Please tell me what to do.” Emma reached for her stepmother and sobbed against her, ignoring the pain from her wound.
“Seek the Lord’s forgiveness and recommit yourself to Him, Emma. He stands willing to receive you. He loves you and has never stopped.”
Emma closed her eyes, and her mother’s face came to mind. She could hear her mother’s words from the time she had led Emma to Jesus.“Pray and ask Him to forgive your sins and come into your heart, Emma. Believe in Him as your Savior, and you will be saved.”
Mama then shared a verse from Romans ten.“‘That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.’”
Emma’s voice was barely a whisper. “Please, Lord, let it be so. Forgive me for the way I’ve acted. Please forgive me for my disbelief. Cleanse me, Lord, and take me back. I want You for my Lord and Savior.”
A peace unlike any she had ever known settled upon her. Emma looked up at Lucille, who was also crying. They shared a smile, and Emma knew without any doubt that God had taken her back.
“Do you think my mama knows?”
Lucille nodded. “I’m sure she does. I’m sure all of heaven is rejoicing, and she’s the loudest of them all.”
Emma settled back in the bed. “Thank you, Lucille. Thank you for listening to God and coming here tonight. I wouldn’t have known the way if you hadn’t come.”
Her stepmother gave her cheek a gentle touch. “God is faithful to draw us to Him. If not me, then He would have sent another. He always hears His children when they long to come home.”
3
