“Have you had supper yet?”
“Yes. I ate an hour ago. That new girl came and took the tray away.”
His reference to the new maid her father had hired made Laura smile. “Rosey’s quite good at her job, don’t you think?”
“Yes, I suppose. She lays a good fire.”
Laura straightened the covers around Will. “She’s very young. Just nineteen, but I’ve watched her work, and she pays close attention to detail. I think she’ll be very helpful.”
She pulled up the rocking chair and sat without seeking Will’s approval. “Church was quite crowded tonight. I am hopeful that they’ll soon have enough money to begin to build their own building. The pastor spoke on the parable of the lost sheep in Luke fifteen. Are you familiar with that story?”
“Of course.” Will’s tone was biting.
Laura paid it no attention. “I was deeply touched by the fact that if I stray, God will seek me out. He will leave the ninety-nine and come to urge me home.”
“If He cares so much, why does He allow us to stray in the first place?”
“Hmmm, that’s a good question. After all, He is God and can do whatever He wants since He’s all powerful. You’ve had seminary training. What did your teachers say about this?”
Will met her gaze momentarily, then looked away. “That God gives us free will. That we are allowed to choose obedience or disobedience for a time.”
She nodded and began to rock. “I suppose God doesn’t wish us to feel forced into a relationship with Him. He wants us to come willingly and to abide in Him once we’ve made that choice. I can’t imagine trying to walk away from God.”
“Even when the worst happens in your life, and you feel abandoned by Him?” Will continued to stare at the wall.
“What are the alternatives? Where would I go? I can abandon my faith because things don’t work out the way I think they should, or I can abide and trust that even though things haven’t gone the way I wanted, God is still faithful. Still loving. Still God.”
Will fixed her with a hard look. “And you believe that?”
“I do. And whether you want to admit it or not, so do you. It’s the fact that you do believe that is causing you such anger.”
“You don’t even know me. Don’t judge me.”
Laura smiled. “I know we haven’t been around each other for long, but I feel as though I do know you. There’s something about you that just seems very familiar.” She held up her hand when he opened his mouth. “I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. When we first met, I could tell you were a man who was completely devoted to God. You still are, but you are hurt and angry. The questions you have seem to haveno answers, and the loss you’ve experienced is devastating. But you still believe.”
“You have no right to say that. Youdon’tknow me.”
“I’d like to know you better. I’d like to be your friend.”
“I don’t want a friend.”
Laura could see the frustration in his expression. Her words had struck a chord. “I understand. You fear the loss that could come. And it always comes in one form or another.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Laura ignored him. “In many ways, life is but a series of losses and disappointments—of counting on God for one result and getting another. My mother was strong in her faith and had trusted God since she was a child. But when she realized He wasn’t going to heal her in a manner that would allow her to remain on earth, she was deeply disappointed. I was as well. She had always taught me that God heard and answered our prayers. Each and every one of them.
“I was distraught that He wouldn’t save my mother. Nothing hurt more than telling her good-bye.” The memory pierced Laura’s heart, and for a moment, it was as if it had happened yesterday. She could still see the despair on her mother’s face when she told Laura that she wasn’t going to get better.
“But Mama didn’t want me to give up trusting God. I would imagine your mother wouldn’t want you to do that either.” She looked at him and smiled. “What mother would? I know my mother longed to stay. She wanted to be there for me and for my father, but she was also racked with pain. She wanted the release that only God could give her. How could I deny her that?”
“You were a child. You needed her.”
Laura nodded as she looked deep into his brown eyes. There was something about this man that drew her in ... made her feel as if they’d known each other for years rather than weeks.
“I did. I needed my father but lost him as well. At least for a time. I can tell you from my experience that I learned to guard my heart. And the time that I didn’t ... well, it taught me a lesson I’ll not soon forget. So I can understand how you feel, and I’m so very sorry. Just know that I care ... that I’m a friend who understands the pain of loss.”
She got to her feet. “Can I get you anything else before I head up to bed?”
