“I am not Inga and George’s responsibility, Edward. I’m not going back to Indiana. In fact, if you annul our marriage or divorce me, I will take Carrie and disappear, and you’ll never know where we go or how we end up. You’ll have that on your conscience, and I’ll do nothing to ease your worry.”
“Marybeth, I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you or Carrie. I love you both.”
“You have a funny way of showing it. I sat by your side after you nearly died. I take care of you and nurse you back to health, and sending me away is your idea of loving me?”
“You know that’s not true. I was afraid tonight. Really afraid. I know what people like the Garlow brothers are capable of, and this town is full of men like them. You don’t understand the vile ugliness that’s out there. I couldn’t live with myself if you became a part of it.”
“Then take care of Carrie and me. Keep us safe with you. Watch over our coming and going, but don’t send us away.” She drew a deep breath and steadied her nerves. “We’re your family now. If you don’t want to have an intimate marriage, then fine. I cannot make you give up your fears. However, we both know they didn’t come from God. The Bible says that God didn’t give us a spirit of fear.” She shook her head. “We can’t live in fear, Edward. It will suck the life right out of us.”
“I don’t want to live in fear. I don’t want that for you or Carrie. That’s why I think you should go back to Indiana. I know Inga and my father would welcome you with open arms.”
“You’re the only one I want welcoming me with open arms,” Marybeth said. She picked up her discarded cloak andpulled it around her. “I’m not leaving Cheyenne.” And with that, she walked out the door.
She didn’t bother to close the door or look back. She knew Edward was watching her. She could feel his gaze on her all the way across the dark yard to the Hendersons’ back door.
I have to calm down, or everyone will demand to know what’s going on.
The last thing she wanted was to have to explain that her husband wanted to send her away—to annul their marriage or have them live separately.
She clutched her cloak all the tighter and forced a deep breath of the cold air.
Lord, help me to be at peace. I don’t wantto upset Carrie, and she always senses when I’m in a bad way. Please help me to let goof my anger, and my hurt.
And it did hurt. Edward’s rejection hurt more than any other loss she’d known. It didn’t matter that his rejection wasn’t personally directed toward her. He obviously felt passion for her. No, his rejection was born completely out of the memory of burying his first wife. The fear of losing Marybeth in childbirth was the force that held Edward Vogel at bay.
Pray for him.
She could almost hear her father saying those very words. Marybeth remembered once when she’d been angry with a young man in their neighborhood. He was a bully, and he had pushed her down and ruined her favorite dress. And all because Marybeth refused to give him her apple.
She had come home in tears, demanding Papa go and teach him a lesson. Instead, her father asked if she had prayed for him. He had taken her up on his lap and opened the Bible to Matthew chapter five.
“‘Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thyneighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven,’” he read to her.
Of course, Edward wasn’t her enemy. He didn’t curse her or hate her. He hadn’t really spitefully used her or persecuted her. He loved her, but that love was making him afraid.
Pray for him.
She could pray for him. She should pray for him. What wife didn’t pray for her husband?
Marybeth knocked on the back door, then let herself in. They were expecting her and had told her before that when she was expected she didn’t need to knock. She took a deep breath and forced herself to relax. She would not bring strife to this precious family. They had done nothing but love her and protect her. She hung her cloak on a hook by the door and prayed for peace.
Squaring her shoulders, she stepped into the kitchen, where Eve was working over the stove. “How can I help?” Marybeth asked.
Eve immediately dropped what she was doing and embraced Marybeth.
“I’m so glad you’re all right. I was frantic. I felt so bad that you had gone on my account, and when I learned that Melody had to leave you in town to help her father, well, it sent me into a fret.”
Marybeth felt sorry for the poor woman. Here she was suffering nausea from being with child and had a brood to care for, and Marybeth added unnecessary worry to her already heavy burden.
“I’m so sorry. I never meant to worry anyone. I just thoughtI would quickly take care of things and get back home. And I wouldn’t have been gone long at all had Dr. Scott not seen me and commanded my help.”
Eve released her and nodded. “I know you didn’t mean to worry anyone. I’m just so glad that you’re all right.” She reached up and smoothed back Marybeth’s errant hair. “When no one could find you for hours ... well, it was almost more than any of us could bear. Poor Edward was beside himself.”
“Yes, I know. But I’m here safe and sound. I’m just sorry that it came at such a price to your comfort. Please forgive me.”
Eve shook her head. “There’s nothing to forgive.” She glanced behind Marybeth. “Where’s Edward?”
“I’m sure he’ll be here soon.” Marybeth glanced around the kitchen. “How can I help you?”
