‘You think?’
‘I know.’
The panic in my stomach eases slightly.
‘Now stop worrying. Everything is going to be okay,’ Ashley assures me. Her tone is so confident, I almost believe her.
A knock sounds on the office door.
‘Come in.’ She straightens her spine, holding her shoulders high.
The door opens and a familiar blond head appears. Ronan. ‘I saw your car outside. I thought you might be in here. I can keep hold of the girls for a while if you’re still talking.’
‘No, it’s fine.’ I push my chair back.
‘Actually, I do need to talk to Savannah about something, while I have her here, so that would be great.’ Ashley beams at him.
Ronan focuses his attention on me. ‘Why don’t I take them for a smoothie and a run around the park? No swimming lessons this afternoon due to an unforeseen… turd.’ He sniggers. ‘I can meet you at home later, if it suits?’
Home.It sounds so natural.
‘That would be amazing,’ my friend answers for me.
‘I’ll pick up dinner, too.’ Ronan blows me a kiss before closing the door.
‘OMG, hang onto him with two hands.’ Ashley slaps the desk with her palm.
‘He’s special alright.’ Which is precisely why I’m terrified of losing him. Nevermind losing my identity, losing him is something I’d never recover from.
Before I can spiral again, Ashley hunches forwards conspicuously. ‘So, I’ve made a decision.’
‘Go on.’ Her hushed tone is enough to distract me from my own drama.
‘I’m going to propose to Matt,’ she announces, shuffling the papers on her desk, probably so she doesn’t have to meet my eye whilst dropping this bombshell.
‘You’re what?’ Whatever doubts I have about my own future, I have no doubt that Matt isnotthe man for Ashley.
He’s not good enough for her. Not by a clear mile. And not because he lives in her house and contributes absolutely nothing, including his love and affection, but because he has absolutely no interest in spending any time with her. They’re only ever spotted together once a year, on a Christmas card.
‘I know, I know, it’s a bold move.’ Ashley catches herlower lip between her teeth and places the papers in a neat pile before finally raising her eyes to meet mine. ‘But the pressure is coming from every direction.’
‘What pressure?’ I cross my legs and pray the horror I’m feeling inside isn’t reflected on my face. ‘What’s the rush?’
‘Ha.’ Ashley scoffs. ‘What’s the rush? It’s been eleven years.Elevenyears. I can hardly bear to visit my own parents these days because every time I do, my mother’s eyes stray straight to my empty left hand with a disappointed sigh. My biological clock is clicking louder than a ticking time bomb. And this week, the board of governors questioned if I’m qualified to teach sex education at a Catholic school given that I’m unmarried, “cohabiting with a man”, and apparently “perhaps not the most suitable role model for the students.”’
‘Fucking hell.’ I thought I had problems. I can’t imagine what Ashley’s going through. Still, her reasoning isn’t solid enough to sign her life over to another person.
I’m no expert at relationships, clearly, but it doesn’t seem like a great foundation to build on.
Not once did she mention the most import word in any relationship. The only word I’m certain of when it comes to Ronan Rivers.
Love.
I love Ronan. So much it terrifies me.
That’s the crux of it.
That’s what it boils down to, if I dig deep.
