‘It’s fine. I’ll call Lucas and tell him you’re not doing it.’ I stand, lifting Savannah with me in the process. ‘We’re going back to bed.’ It’s not even sexual. She needs to be held. To feel safe and secure. And that’s what I’m going to give her.
‘What time do you need to be back at school for lessons?’ she asks.
‘Not for another couple of hours.’
We spend those couple of hours spooning in silence.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
SAVANNAH
Ronan offered to bring the girls home after his afternoon swimming lessons, but I need to get out of the house. These four walls are starting to feel like a cage, and I could really do with the comfort of seeing my best friend.
I park outside St Jude’s twenty minutes early and swallow down the anxiety swirling in my sternum. It’s not just the mention of Finn. It’s not just the insults being hurled my way. It’s everything combined. I feel like my whole world is spinning on its axis and I can’t breathe.
The mothers are gathered at the school’s wrought iron gates for their daily chat, but I cut through them without making eye contact.
Several greet me with calls of, ‘Savannah,’, some with knowing smiles, others with sympathetic stares, and there are even a couple with sneers.
‘Is it true?’ The wife of the local MP steps forwards. Celeste, I think her name is. ‘Are you sleeping with Ronan Rivers?’
‘Is it any of your business who I am or am not sleeping with?’ I snap, without stopping.
‘Keep your hair on.’ Her voice is thick with false concern. ‘We’re simply concerned about you. A man like him is no good for a woman like you.’
‘You have no idea what kind of man he is. Or what kind of woman I am, for that matter.’Keep talking and you might just find out, though. Especially after the day I’ve had.
I stalk across the asphalt yard and into the old Victorian building to my best friend’s office. I knock twice and let myself in. Ashley’s sitting behind her huge mahogany desk with a stack of reports piled up. She looks every bit the private school principal in a tailored navy power suit. Her auburn hair is twisted into a tight classic chignon.
‘Come in.’ She stands and beckons me in. ‘Are you okay? I’ve been trying to call you all day.’
‘I will be.’ I stride across Ashley’s office, which is like a miniature library. Floor to ceiling bookcases line the walls, stacked with dusty leather-bound books. ‘It’s been one of those days.’ I’m not ready to tell Ashley about Finn yet. I will, but not right now. I’m still processing his presence here in Dublin.
‘How are the girls? Did you see them today?’
‘The girls are fine. Ronan’s with them at the gym. One of the baby infants shit in the pool so the janitors closed it down and are cleaning up. Ronan kindly offered to teach basketball instead of swimming this afternoon. He adores Eden and Isla.’ Ashley motions to the seat opposite before sitting down again.
‘He’s really great with them.’ I slump into the leather. And really great with me.
‘It seems like he’s a man of many talents.’ Ashley’s lips quiver as she battles a smirk.
‘You have no idea.’ I shake my head.
‘When Ms McNamara asked the girls to share their news from home this morning, Isla told the entire class that Ronansleeps at their house now and he lets them have Coco Pops on school days.’ Ashley sniggers. ‘Nothing is sacred when there are little eyes and ears watching.’
‘Oh God. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,’ I confess, massaging my temples. ‘I feel like the world as I know it is caving in on me from every direction.’
‘Breathe.’ My friend reaches across the table and takes my hand. ‘The most famous single mother in the country hooking up with a famous man – ahem, man about town – was always going to cause a scandal. Just hang on in there. Friday marks the start of the summer holidays. Let the dust settle. Spend the summer having red hot sex with Ronan Rivers, and by September everyone will be busy talking about someone else.’
‘Maybe.’ If it weren’t for Finn fucking Reilly, I might have had the chance to spin the ‘scandal’ on its head.
‘There’s no “maybe” about it.’ Ashley rocks back in her chair. ‘Trust me.’
I twist my lips and stare at my friend. With the return of Finn, the same old ugly insecurities are rearing their head.
‘What if I’ve given up everything for him and he leaves?’
Ashley laughs, but not in a cruel way. ‘Oh Savannah. You have no idea, do you? He’s absolutely smitten with you. He’s not going anywhere.’
