I’m fucking terrified that I’ve fallen hard and fast and that he might leave me. Like Finn did. Like my own mother did.
What if I’m not enough?
I squash that thought immediately.
It isn’t about me right now. It’s about Ashley making what I believe will be the biggest mistake of her life.
Ashley exhales a huge sigh, yanks open the top drawer ofher desk and produces a bottle of scotch. ‘One to take the edge off?’
‘Sure.’
The amber liquor slides down my throat with a sharp burning sensation. We should probably be drinking something celebratory, like pink champagne. My friend is about to get engaged and here we are, ‘taking the edge off.’
It’s certainly taken the edge off my problems, for now anyway. I’m worried because I have a boyfriend who loves me, and people don’t like it.
Fuck the book deal.
Fuck what everyone else thinks right now.
And fuck Finn Reilly.
Then it clicks. My conversation with Lucas.‘Your male counterpart wants me to invest in his business as he starts up in Dublin.’
‘And you don’t want to?’
‘Between you and me, I’m not sure about him. On paper, he’s squeaky clean, the perfect role model, fit, and fun and relatable.’ Lucas sat back, clasping his fingers together on the table in front of him. ‘But I just get this vibe off him. Like something’s not quite right.’
Lucas’s vibe was spot on. And maybe it’s time he knew it.
Perhaps it’s time to face my past instead of running from it.
Chapter Forty
RONAN
‘Did you get on okay with the twins?’ Savannah emerges from her office just after eight. Shadows linger beneath her eyes. The day is taking its toll on her.
‘Perfect. There hasn’t been a peep out of them.’ With Savannah’s nerves shred, it seemed kinder to everyone if I did the bedtime routine.
‘Great work.’ She sashays towards me, her long legs flexing gracefully. ‘I hope you don’t feel like I’m taking advantage. You’re so good with them.’
‘Sweetheart, believe me, you’re not taking advantage.’ I gesture towards my crotch. ‘If you want to try, though, you can start here.’ Anything to make her laugh. Raise a reaction from her, though I’m not entirely joking.
‘You’re insatiable.’ Her lips lift in a slight smile for the first time all day.
‘You have that effect on me. No matter what else is going on in the world, Savannah, no matter what anyone says about us, we know what we have.’
‘I just reimbursed my blog subscribers the last three months’ subscription fees,’ she says, sliding onto my lap andcurling against my chest. ‘I won’t have them calling me a hypocrite.’
‘You’re not a hypocrite, honey. You’re an inspiration. First, you prove you can go it alone. Then you prove you’re brave enough to trust again after everything you’ve been through.’ Finn’s smarmy face fogs my vision again. I’ve never wanted to punch someone as much in my life.
‘Can I ask you a question?’ I rock back slightly so I can see her face.
‘Sure.’ There’s a slight wariness in her tone.
‘Why did you hide his identity for all these years? Why protect him?’
‘Honestly, I’m beginning to wonder the same thing. Initially, I was ashamed because he was married.’ Savannah’s fingers thrum over her mouth.
