My very own Ghost of Christmas Past.
Suddenly I need to be alone with my Ghost of Christmas Present and Future. The woman beside me. I need to be inside her with an urgency that catches me by surprise. An urgency I never really experienced with Sally-Ann.
Sally-Ann and I were kids.
Holly is all woman.
And her femininity brings out the caveman in me.
The only thing that does incite a flicker of envy is the baby strapped to Sally’s chest. Not because I want to be its father, but because it hits me like a thunderbolt that one day I want to make one of my own with Holly.
My lips lift in a small smile. One that I hope conveys I’m okay. This is okay. We’ve both moved on. There are no hard feelings.
I raise my hand in a casual greeting. Holly does the same, offering Sally a warm and gracious smile. It has to be awkward for her, too.
As Sally nods, her gaze darts between Holly and me, and a small smile forms on her lips. ‘Merry Christmas,’ she calls, before sauntering down her own pathway and out onto the sidewalk.
‘Merry Christmas,’ Holly and I call back in unison.
‘Alright, son?’ Dad asks with bated breath.
‘Never been better,’ I reply with utter honesty as Holly squeezes my hand.
Mam’s relieved sigh cuts through the air as I usher Holly into the familiar hallway. The scent of pine needles and sweet cinnamon rolls assault my senses.
Mam nudges us further into the house, where a six-foot-tall real Christmas tree fills the space to the left. A mountain of prettily wrapped parcels already sits beneath it.
I really need to do some Christmas shopping. And bring Holly to Grafton Street to see the lights. But first of all there’s something more pressing I have to deal with.
‘I take it we’re staying in my old bedroom?’ My eyes travel to the red-carpeted staircase on the right.
‘You are.’ Mam beams like the prospect of having her son back where he’s always meant to be thrills her.
‘Well, excuse us while we test out the bed for a few minutes.’ I drag Holly by the hand and tug her up the steps two at a time.
A blush creeps up her neck and flushes across her cheeks as my mam whoops and my dad shouts, ‘Go on, my son! It’s what we were put on this planet to do!’
‘I told you it was going to be bedlam.’ I open my childhood bedroom door and gently shove Holly through it with a firm slap on her fine ass.
ChapterThirty-Two
HOLLY
21st December
Grafton Street, lit up with white glittering Christmas lights, has always been one of my favourite festive sights, but with Nate next to me, the experience is heightened tenfold.
Hanging from his muscular bicep, I inhale the atmosphere straight into my lungs and into my heart. The air is crisp and cold and my exhale fogs in front of my face. Huge snow clouds linger overhead in the twilight sky, though nothing has fallen for hours.
Carol singers lining the street corners, their sweet voices radiating through the air, providing enough warm and fuzzies to melt the coldest of hearts.
Overhead, giant decorative snowflakes dangle from evenly spaced lampposts, forging their own illuminated path through the city. The cobbled streets are wedged with people jostling and bustling on a mission for last-minute gifts.
I need to buy Nate a Christmas present but I’m on a different mission today.
My eyes dart sideways towards my boyfriend. I still can’t believe he’s mine. Even in that completely un-Nate like baseball hat he’s wearing as a disguise, he’s still the most attractive man I’ve ever laid eyes on.
‘I need to buy a dress.’ The wedding is two days away and I’m cutting it fine. Possibly because I wasn’t sure if I’d have the balls to show my face after those awful videos, but with Conor and Clarissa insisting, Nate by my side, and Savannah and Ashley there to have my back, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
