‘Have you heard from her since?’ I wonder aloud. He laughs bitterly in response.
‘When I say she left us, I mean she left this world.’ Pain inches onto his face, even years later. ‘She took her own life. My younger brother, Mark, was two. Maybe it was a breed of postnatal depression. People didn’t talk about that stuff back then.’
The final piece of the jigsaw slips into place; that he’s an Ambassador for Pieta House. Is it any wonder he’s nervous of becoming emotionally involved with a woman?
I curl up into his lap, rest my knees against his chest and run my fingers through his hair.
‘I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you went through. It makes my past woes seem laughable in comparison.’ I trace the tiny scars on his face with the knowledge that the deepest cuts are on the inside.
‘We all have our crosses to bear.’ He kisses me on the mouth, signalling the end of this particular conversation.
Suddenly doing the walk of shame doesn’t seem like the worst thing in the world. I can’t leave him after this revelation.
‘Do you want me to stay the night?’ I offer.
‘Yes.’
‘I can’t go to work in the morning in these clothes or I’ll never live it down.’
‘I’ll drop you home first thing. I’m training at ten o’clock,’ he offers.
‘Perfect. Don’t go chatting up any blondes in the spa,’ I warn him.
‘I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ve got enough work cut out for me here.’ He winks suggestively.
‘Coach won’t be happy when you have no energy left for the pitch.’
‘He’ll get over it.’ Callum lifts me off the couch and carries me through to his bedroom for the second time today.
My body doesn’t know what hit it. Nothing for years, then four times in one day. My muscles ache from trembling under Callum’s touch.
Afterwards, I lie in his arms, my newly established safe haven and current favourite place in the entire universe. ‘Do you mind if I take a bath?’
‘Help yourself.’ He nods towards his en suite. ‘Want me to run it for you?’ he offers, glancing down sleepily.
‘No. You stay there.’ His heavy eyes fight to stay open.
I creep into the bathroom, turn on the taps and smear a pea-sized helping of Sensodyne on to his toothbrush to clean my teeth. We’d exchanged a hell of a lot more than saliva today.
