‘Jeez, Dad, no. Life is short. Let’s move past it and enjoy what’s left.’ I rest my hand over the back of his.
A small smile lifts his lips. ‘Exactly. Move past it and enjoy what’s left. Tomorrow is promised to none of us.’ He’s nailed Victoria’s sentiment exactly.
‘Take it from me, you and Victoria have that once in a lifetime kind of love. Maybe you should take a good look in the mirror and understand it’s not just Lily-May who deserves a fighting chance at happiness, stability and love. You do, too.’
Maybe he’s right. We were so unbelievably good together. Maybe I didn’t fit into her world. I’m nowhere near as educated as her, or sophisticated. But we share the same goals. The same ideals.
Could I really be her first and last love?
One thing’s for sure, I won’t find out hiding here.
33
VICTORIA
Astack of application forms fill my childhood bedroom at Huxley Castle. It feels wrong making decisions about a future without Archie, but he’s left me no choice. I flip my phone over, trying to muster enough willpower not to call him for the millionth time.
He made his decision. It doesn’t matter how wrong I think it is, I can’t change his mind. Primarily, because I can’t get hold of him, though that hasn’t stopped me trying.
I tap his name on the screen, but the call doesn’t even ring. It goes straight to voicemail again. Either he’s blocked my number, or he’s gone back to Andie’s without me. I’m not sure which is worse.
With graduation only two weeks away, I can’t stop thinking about him. He should be there. With me. He wassupposedto be there. It’s the day we were going to come out to my family and finally tell them about our relationship.
The past few mornings, I’ve dragged myself out of bed to run the trails on the estate, staring at his cabin, wondering if he’ll ever return.
It looks bleak and empty, which is precisely how I feel right now.
I can’t go on like this, mourning a man who’s not dead, but simply doesn’t want me and the endless drama that’s associated with being part of this family. I can’t even blame him. The second I got a taste of the quiet life, it’s all I wanted too.
Life isn’t a romance novel.
He’s not coming back for me.
It’s time to move on.
Watching Sasha with the twins constantly reminds me of Lily-May. Would the state let me adopt her as a single woman? Or do they only consider nuclear families? I have no idea.
It’s something I need to find out just as soon as I’ve filled in these postgraduate placement application forms. Perhaps if I start looking forwards, I’ll stop dwelling on what’s behind me.
How isit possible I can have two men following me everywhere and still feel so lonely?
Sasha booked us all into the Caledonian Hotel as a ‘graduation treat’, but we both know the truth is, I can’t bear to go back to my own house.
Not because of the bad memories but because of the good ones.
My hotel suite is large enough to house an entire family, which only serves to reinforce how alone I am.
Not so long ago, I was desperate for solitude, peace, and sanctuary. Careful what you wish for, right?
A buzz sounds from the vanity table. My phone vibrating against the glass top. Where once it used to buzz constantly with social media notifications, it’s been quiet for weeks now.
It has to be Libby, or Mel, calling to try to coax me out for a few drinks when the official grad business is over.
I can’t face it. It’ll be hard enough sitting through dinner with my family. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the enormous gilded mirror. The ever-present circles under my eyes are concealed with layers of make-up, but there’s a hollowness around them that radiates from my soul.
‘Blocked number’ punctuates the screen. My heart leaps in my chest. Archie?
‘Hello?’ I press it against my ear and hold my breath.
