‘But what if you don’t come back?’ It’s barely more than a whisper. Through the soft moonlight I see the lump she swallows.
My arms tighten around her back, crushing her chest against mine, craving that delicious, unique skin-to-skin contact. ‘Sash, I’ll never leave you again. I swear it on everything I own.’
She nods against my torso. ‘Sorry. I know I’m like a broken fucking record, but seeing you up there on that stage, shining, I honestly wonder how I could ever compete. I worry I’m going to wake up one day and you’ll have disappeared out of my life again, gone like the wind.’
‘Not in a million years, you’d never be that lucky. I spent the last ten years imagining what it would be like to have you back in my life – I’m not going to let that slip through my fingers again. You’re stuck with me I’m afraid. The real me. Not the polished rockstar the rest of the world sees.’ I stick my tongue out to lighten the mood. ‘And it’s not a competition. I can have a successful career and a successful relationship, but in order to do that, we need to talk about everything. Keep the channels of communication open. Always, okay?’
‘I hate the uncertainty.’
‘There is no uncertainty. I’ll do what I’m obliged to do contractually and I’ll always come home to you, wherever that may be, okay?’
She nods, but I get the feeling she’s not entirely convinced.
‘I’m going to fucking marry you, Sasha Sexton. And we’re going to fill this castle with gorgeous babies, I promise. You’ll never wake up and not know where I am.’
Her head tilts upwards, lips apart. I don’t hesitate to meet them with my own.
CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE
SASHA
19thDecember
With only a few days to go until the ball, not to mention Christmas itself, things are busy at the castle.
Chloe is an absolute godsend. Firm, assertive and exquisitely attractive, she’s the perfect woman to negotiate with the suppliers about our sudden increase in demand now the castle is booked out solidly for the first time in years.
Megan’s redesigning the website with the help of a trendy new company recommended by Angela, Ryan’s PA, who is flying in today to deal with the press and make an official statement on our relationship. She’s going to negotiate all interview requests and possible public appearances. Though I have no intention of committing to any of it until the new year.
The building work’s in full swing. The QS assures me it’ll be complete by March, come hell or high water. With the way she commands grown men like children, I believe her.
Which leaves me strangely free at the busiest time of the year. I say free, what I mean is available to entertain my aunts, Evelyn and Mags, for their annual Christmas visit.
‘Don’t think you’re off the hook, Chloe,’ I warn, as she sweeps by me in a cloud of perfume and paperwork.
‘I have one more meeting with the dairy suppliers, then I promise I’ll join you in the drawing room.’ The unspokenI’ve got your backis conveyed in her astute aquamarine eyes. ‘Where’s Ryan?’
‘He’s waiting for Angela at the penthouse. She’s due to arrive any minute. Her girlfriend is flying in at some point too. They’re staying for Christmas. She’s decided to trace her ancestry while she’s here. You know the Americans love Ireland.’
‘Great. The more the merrier.’ She shrugs, heading towards the door. ‘The turkey Conor ordered is big enough to feed the five thousand.’
Christmas is a notoriously difficult time of year for all of us. Like me, she probably assumes if the place is mad busy, we might not feel the weight of those who are missing quite as severely.
‘It will want to be. Even though we won’t have any paying hotel guests, the castle is going to be busy. Conor’s staying on for the holidays. Megan’s bringing her mother for Christmas dinner. James and his wife, Portia, will also be dining with us. You know he’s sort of become a surrogate father to me over the years and they don’t have any family of their own. Plus, Pierce, Frankie and Archie of course. Oh and Jayden’s coming too. He arrives tomorrow.’
Chloe stops dead in her tracks, swivels on her heels, and her wide incredulous eyes bore into mine. ‘Jayden Cooper? The arrogant little shit who used to tease me mercilessly when they lived in our cabin?’
‘Ah, he wasn’t that bad, was he?’ I was so wrapped up in his brother, I didn’t pay much attention either way.
‘The man used to torment me until I’d practically combust.’ An indignant expression furrows her eyebrows as she continues.
The memory of him kissing me to rise a reaction from Ryan flashes to the forefront of my mind. ‘Yeah, he hasn’t grown out that either.’
She huffs, a shapely arm resting on her hip. ‘You only have to google him to see the man’s a complete womaniser.’
‘Says Mother Teresa herself, huh?’ I shake my head, pressing my lips together in a tight line to suppress the rising laughter.
‘I’m the way I am because of He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named. Jayden was born that way. Did I tell you I caught him snogging the face off that chambermaid Mam couldn’t stand, Janine, no wait, Jacinta, in the gardens?’ Chloe visibly flushes at the memory. ‘He thinks he’s God’s gift to women.’
