It’s exactly what the castle needs. But the return of Ryan Cooper is precisely everythingIdon’t need.
CHAPTERFOUR
RYAN
20thNovember
‘I think you’re making a mistake.’ Jayden runs his fingers over his ever present designer stubble.
‘You were the one who told me to find some inspiration.’
I throw an assortment of random clothes haphazardly into a suitcase. Anything I forget, I’ll buy.
‘Is it even safe?’ Jayden alludes to our father’s previous misdemeanours.
‘Well, I’m pretty sure there’s no arrest warrant out for me. If there was, I’d have heard about it by now. I’ve not exactly been in hiding – unless you count from the paparazzi.’
Jayden tuts. ‘I wasn’t just referring to Dad’s illegal endeavours.’
I pile in three of my thickest sweaters, the temperature’s likely to a be shock after the warmth of LA. ‘Well then, what exactly are you referring to?’
He looms by my open patio doors, gazing out at the bright lights of Hollywood. ‘Is this about that girl you used to bang?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Even as I swat off his remark, I don’t dare question the truth of it.
Admittedly, I’m looking for inspiration. Something that came in abundance when we were together. I’ve been emotionally incapacitated for the last ten years. Leaving her like that, disappearing into the black night, especiallythatnight, was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Dad left me with no choice. As we fled, he stressed repeatedly that any contact with anyone from our previous life would directly result in him being banged up. We were forbidden from using phones and social media. Hell, he wouldn’t even let me send an email.
Then when we got to the States he pretty much abandoned us.
I didn’t finish my schooling. I have zero formal qualifications. Thankfully, I didn’t end up needing them, but it was less than ideal on so many levels.
Against all his warnings, I did leave Sasha a brief note in the cabin before we fled. Fat lot of good it did. I never got so much as a Christmas card from her.
It was that point that I became emotionally stunted. When I left her, it was like I’d left half of myself behind. When months passed and I heard nothing, I assumed she’d heard about my father’s illegal activity.
Seeing the switching on of the Times Square Christmas lights, and the memories it evoked, sparked the first real emotion I’ve felt in years. Turns out I’m not just a great singer, I’m a fucking brilliant actor too, because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing these past ten years. Plastering the all-American smile on my face and performing like a circus animal, while my internal well was running dry enough to bleed out every ounce of anything real.
If I see Sasha, I’ll deal with it, but I’m not looking for her.
I’m looking for the me I was back then. The man who was capable of banging out song lyrics by the hour. Respectable ones too.
Jayden sighs, entirely unconvinced. I’m not sure if his concerns stem from his role as my agent, or my brother. ‘When are you leaving?’
‘Now.’ I glance at the chunky piece of Swiss metal on my wrist. ‘My flight leaves in four hours. Pierce’s coming with me.’
Jayden’s face pinches into a frown and he rubs the bridge of his nose. ‘That’s something, I suppose.’
Pierce is my private protection. He goes everywhere with me. Another eternal bachelor, and trained Marine, he’s every bit as deadly with his bare hands as a rifle. No one in their right mind would cross him.
He lives in a smaller section of my house, never usually seen or heard unless there’s a problem. Which recently, there hasn’t been, thank goodness.
‘When will you be home?’ Jayden begins pacing the carpet fast enough to wear a hole in it.
‘I booked the castle for six weeks, give or take. I’m not sure how long I need.’
‘You’re staying in the fucking castle?’ He stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have, but there’s no point doing half a job. If I’m going back, I’m going right back to the beginning.
