I didn’t expect to be gone so long today, and to be uncontactable. I should have known she’d be worried but I was preoccupied with fresh, more pressing, concerns.
Conor’s shoulder connects roughly with mine as he barges out of the room with James and Chloe trailing behind.
The door clicks and then there’s silence.
Ten years, so many secrets, it’s now or never.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-SEVEN
SASHA
Thunderous palpitations in my chest make me feel like I’m about to erupt like a simmering volcano. Insecurity fuels the bubbles, my rage is the lava.
What the actual fuck is going on?
‘We saw you at the airport.’
Ryan rolls his eyes and sighs. ‘Fucking paps. I’m so sorry you saw that, sweetheart. I’m only just beginning to realise what I put you through this morning.’
‘You have no idea what you put me through this morning. Or you never would have done it. Ryan, I woke up this morning after having mind-blowing sex with youwithout protectionand yet again, you were gone. Vanished in the middle of the night. Along with everyone else you brought to this castle.’
‘But all my stuff was still here…’ His words trail off. I can only imagine he’s remembering it’s not the first time he abandoned his belongings.
‘You’ve been acting weird since Jayden got here. I know he hates me. That he thinks I’m not good enough for you, or that I’m going to hinder your career or something. I was worried he’d been poisoning your ear. Then when I wake up and there’s no sign of you, what else am I supposed to think?’
‘Sasha, I—’
I hold my palm in front of his face signalling I’m not done. ‘I had visions of being left pregnant and alone again, which was only reinforced by seeing your face all over every news channel in the country, glowering your way through the entrance of the airport. What was I meant to think?’
‘Baby, please.’ He grabs my hands across the desk and when I don’t immediately yank them back, he takes it as an invitation to slide round the five-foot slab of maple and pull me into his arms.
‘I told you before, I’ll never leave you. I love you so much. Fuck, when I said I was going to marry you, I wasn’t joking. We will have babies together. If you’ll still have me, after everything.’ He flinches as he says it, like he’s willing it into fruition or something.
Much as I want to be angry with him, his familiar scent annihilates my willpower.
Slumping into his chest, huge heartfelt sobs rack through my chest. This time, the tears are filled with relief.
‘I tried to call you. When your phone went straight to voicemail, I assumed the worst,’ I confess.
‘I had to go to the airport to take care of some delicate business. Security took my phone. I had no idea it was going to take so long. After everything we’ve been through, you should know I’d never do that to you.’
Sliding my palms across his ridiculously planed pecs, I angle my face towards his. ‘Don’t ever dream of putting me through anything like it again. If you have to go somewhere, wake me up. Or leave a damn note. Just don’t leave me hanging. Trust takes time. I’m still a work in progress after the first time.’
All the tears, all the anguish this morning was for nothing.
I continue to breathe life into my own personal trust issues. Will I ever get over what happened the first time? Or will it sit between us for the rest of our lives?
Ryan brought me to London. He brought me to Vegas. He told the entire world it’s always been me. And I panic at the first sign of trouble. Though I wasn’t the only one who jumped to the worst conclusion.
‘I swear, I’ll never leave your side, if you’ll still have me there…’
Pressing my lips to his, I slide my tongue inside his mouth and push him against the desk into a sitting position. My mouth and hands devour him. We only have a few hours before the ball and I need to make up properly, need the reassurance of him inside me.
But first, I need to ask one more question. A burning curiosity inside demands answers, even though it pains me to pull back from the kiss.
‘What was the delicate business at the airport?’
Ryan’s hands drop from my waist at the same time as his gaze drops to the floor.
