MARCUS
‘I’m telling you, Shelly, it’s not what it looks like.’ I reach out for her hand but she yanks it away, her lips pressing into a grim line.
‘There’s nothing untoward going on here. I swear on the girls’ lives.’ My hand skims over my head, damp with sweat.
‘Sure. You just happen to have befriended a six-foot blonde babysitter in the few weeks that I’ve been preoccupied with the show. Oh wait, no.’ She slaps her forehead for effect. ‘You’ve obviously been “friends” a lot longer than that, if one look at her daughter is anything to go by.’
‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Look, I know it was probably a shock to come home to find Maddy here, but I can explain everything.’
‘Zoe is the fucking image of you. Don’t deny it, Marcus, for whatever hope we have of being amicable, do not lie to me for another single second.’
‘You are barking up the wrong tree. I only met that woman a few weeks ago. I never laid a finger on her, nor do I want to.’ In my desperation to reassure my wife, my voice rises into an almost shout, earning me a glare filthier than the one she shot Maddy.
Erin’s head pops through the doorway. ‘Are you guys rowing?’
‘No, sweetheart. I was just telling Daddy about my day. Did you have dinner yet?’ Shelly crosses the room and lifts Erin onto her hip, even though she’s three stone too heavy for that these days.
‘Not yet.’ Her mousy hair bounces as she shakes her head. I knew I should have fed them the second I got in, but I got preoccupied telling Maddy the good news – the planning has been fast-tracked and approved. The club demolition and rebuild can start next month.
Shelly busies herself in the fridge, pulling out homemade portions of cottage pie. She’s an amazing mother. And an amazing wife. The thought of us at loggerheads for another day is too much. I set the table for the girls, knowing Shelly and I won’t be able to eat until we sort this out between us.
It seems to take an eternity to get the girls fed, bathed and into bed. Shelly indulges them with two extra stories. I’m pretty sure she’s prolonging facing the conversation we badly need to have. When she eventually tiptoes down the stairs, she pours herself another glass of the wine, not bothering to offer me one. While she takes big glug of hers, I help myself from the bottle.
‘So what’s the celebratory occasion that has you opening a bottle ofourfavourite wine for your girlfriend?’ Her words are clipped, angry and crack with pent-up emotion.
‘She isn’t my girlfriend, Shelly, I swear. She’s a friend, and only barely. I met her a few weeks ago at the school, then by chance again in the pub.’
‘You mean to tell me, that of all the pubs in Dublin, you just happened to be in the same one as the sensational blonde you met at the school gate? Pah. Don’t insult me.’ She swats a hand in front of her face, dismissing my explanation before I’ve even started.
‘She’s not sensational, you are.’ I’m not ass-kissing, it’s the truth. ‘Remember that pub, The Irishman? The one by the club that we used to drink in years ago?’
‘What about it?’ Shelly stares stonily into my eyes. I can read her like a book. She’s wondering if every rumour she ever heard about me over the years is true. She’s doubting everything we’ve ever had, and it’s killing me. Not only because it’s not true, but because I hate that’s she’s doing this to herself. Concocting images in her mind that are entirely fictional, but present and unseeable once she’s imagined them. I’m not her father. I would never ever cheat on my family.
‘Maddy works behind the bar there. I called in when I’d been to see the clubhouse. She was as surprised to see me as I was to see her. She offered to pick the girls up for me today because I had another meeting with the architect to sign off on a few things. I’m sorry you walked in on a situation you that alarmed you. But that’s all it was.’
‘Why didn’t you mention her to me before then, this friend of yours, Maddy?’ The anger has slipped from Shelly’s voice, and it’s replaced with sadness. I debate closing the distance between us, but I can’t be sure she won’t shove me away. I need her to listen to what I’m saying. I need her to trust me.
‘When did I have the chance? We’ve been like passing ships in the night. We both know things have been tense between us since you started the show. We have barely said three words to each other the past few weeks.’
‘Because you shut me out, because you hate me doing the show, because you don’t trust me not to run off with Ben bloody Battle.’
‘I don’t trust you? You’re the one accusing me of cheating, Shelly. So, who doesn’t trust who here?’ Biting back my frustration, I take a sip from my wine glass, hoping it will steady my nerves. Conflict on the pitch I can deal with, conflict in my home is another matter entirely.
‘You know I find it hard to trust anyone. Of course it’s going to set alarm bells ringing when I come home early to find you cosying up in our kitchen to a stunning woman half my age. If her daughter isn’t yours, you must have a doppelgänger somewhere out there.’
Now I think about, Zoe has the same colouring as me. Her and Erin could probably pass for sisters, but that’s just a mad coincidence. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Shelly. There is no way on this earth that child is mine. I’d never do that to you, or our daughters.’
‘Yet, you’ve been pushing me away for weeks. If it’s not because ofher, then why?’ Shelly bites her lower lip.
‘Because I’m an idiot, Shelly. A fucking idiot. But I’m nothing like your dad. Come here.’ Taking her by the hand, I tug her towards me. Even though her anger appears to have dissipated, she refuses to budge, refusing to let me hold her or offer any modicum of comfort.
‘I never thought we’d be in this position, Marcus. Not us. We were supposed to be different.’
‘What position? Talk to me, Shelly, let’s make this right between us.’ Standing in front on her, my eyes bore into hers, but it’s as though she’s here in body but not in spirit.
‘I’m finding it hard to trust you. The second I’m gone you find a stunning new female friend to hang out with. Clearly, you don’t trust me, or you wouldn’t have had such an issue with me being paired up with Ben. How can a marriage survive if we don’t even have trust? I’ve supported your career for years, Marcus. All I asked of you was a few weeks of support in return. And apart from the questions surrounding your blonde friend, you went out and bought another property, only bothering to tell me when it was pretty much done because you knew I wouldn’t approve. Was it to spite me for doing the show?’ Her forehead falls to her hands and she sighs, blinking back unshed tears. ‘I feel like I don’t even know you at the moment.’
‘It wasn’t to spite you. It was because I couldn’t bear the place where I started, wherewestarted, to be bulldozed for yet another block of overpriced flats in an underachieving part of this city.’
