‘You know that is the single silliest thing I have ever heard you say.’ Emma arches a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me. ‘No woman asks for it. And as for fornicating with Eddie’s friends, that’s just crazy. Only a man that is absolutely mad about you would risk Eddie’s wrath. Trust me. Ollie loves you. I don’t know why he didn’t tell you about his ex getting engaged to his brother. But let’s be honest, it’s not something any of us would brag about.’ She flicks her hair from her face and pauses long enough for me to digest her opinion.
‘I’d rather forget the whole Zac thing ever happened. I hate thinking about it, let alone talking about it.’
An idea dawns on me, as I remember how similar Ollie and I actually are. ‘Maybe he was ashamed too? Like his family’s behaviour reflected badly on him or something? I’m only saying it now, because I pretty much said the same thing myself ten seconds ago. I didn’t tell him about Zac for fear of what he’d think of me. Even though it was Zac’s actions not mine. And perhaps Ollie feels the same about the other situation.’
‘Finally, you’re talking some sense at last! Ring him back. I saw your phone was alight with incoming calls from the second he left.’ She kisses my cheek, then pats the roof of the car in a goodbye gesture.
Pulling out of my parents’ driveway, I have every intention of going home, running a bath and maybe calling Ollie when I’ve had enough silence to think straight. Yet by the time I get to my cul-de-sac I can’t get out the car. I dial Ollie’s number while the engine is still running. He doesn’t answer. At the risk of looking like a stalker, I do it again. It rings out.
Switching off the engine, I reluctantly let myself into the place I call home and light a fire. It’s freezing in the draughty sitting room, almost as bitter as the shiver running across my spine. Something feels off. A niggle in the depth of my gut screams at me. Ollie risked everything turning up at my parents’ house this afternoon. I practically had to kick him out to get him to leave. I had fifteen missed calls and six texts since, then nothing. It’s just not sitting right with me. If I hear nothing within fifteen minutes, I’ll go to his place.
While the fire crackles and roars to life, I scan the room. It’s filled with a hundred memories. It seems like a lifetime ago since Barry the banker sat on this couch trying to get his way. I’ve learned so much since then. About myself, about my body, and about what I want in my life. And what I want is Ollie. Forever, if he’ll still have me. This room seems bare without him here to help me fill it. My body misses his touch and it’s only been a matter of hours. I miss his reassuring presence. His quiet calmness and the way he teases me.
The horrific lilac curtains mock me. I hate them. After all the truths I admitted to my family today, this is the lesser of them all. I hate those lilac floral curtains. As the fire roars to life behind me, I stand on a kitchen chair trying to unhook the offensive things from my windows.
It feels fantastic. Liberating. Like I’m finally being honest with myself. Pleasing myself, not everybody else to spare their feelings.
My head works almost as fast as my fingers. Ok, Ollie never told me about Anita, but I want him. Even if he slept with half of Dublin, I still want him, as long as it was before our time. I need to salvage our relationship. We’ve come too far not to. I don’t wait the fifteen minutes. It takes only eight before I’m in the car again, reversing out the driveway to make the thirty minute spin to the city centre to Ollie’s apartment block.
As I approach the traffic is heavy, unusual for this hour on a Sunday night. Butterflies flood my stomach, anxious to put things right between us. My life was meaningless until he came into it. I need him to know that. I don’t care if Eddie never talks to either of us again, or if I have to go back to treating elderly patients in the rehabilitation centre for the rest of my life. I should have left with him this afternoon. I’m a total hypocrite;Ishould have pickedhimover explaining to my family. If he still wants me I’ll put him first every time, as long as he promises to do the same.
The traffic comes to a complete halt half a block from Ollie’s apartment. Twisting my new engagement ring on my finger, I blow out a sigh of frustration at the hold-up. I could run it in thirty seconds, instead I’m stuck here in a line of traffic searching for somewhere to abandon this car. A Garda jeep is parked next to the entrance to the underground parking, it blocks the narrow side street next to it.
On closer inspection, fluorescent tape cordons off the entire area. The people milling around are dressed in official-looking suits, as if they’re non-uniformed Gardaí. My heart plummets and bile rises in my chest. Something awful has happened; I feel it instinctively in every single cell of my body. Abandoning the Golf with the keys still in the ignition, I sprint thirty metres to where a small crowd are beginning to congregate.
A woman dressed in a sequinned silver dress stands to my right as I squish in, desperate to get to the front to see what’s going on for myself.
‘What happened?’ I ask her, silently praying she’ll tell me something trivial like a cat got stuck in a tree, knowing deep down it has to be something way more serious to warrant this kind of response.
‘A guy was found collapsed. Apparently he’d been attacked. Our bouncer spotted him unconscious on the street. They’re looking for witnesses and searching for forensic evidence now.’
I can physically feel the blood draining from my face. ‘Any idea who the man is?’
‘Everyone knows who he is! It’s Ollie Quinn, number six on the Irish rugby team. He was either very unlucky, or he pissed the wrong person off.’ She tuts, rubbing her hands over her bare shoulders, before adding, ‘nice guy he is, too. The last time he came into the club,’ she gestures to a neon sign flashing behind us, ‘he could have had his pick of the women. You know what he did?’ She turns to me to check I’m listening.
‘What did he do?’ I swallow the lump in my throat.
‘He bought the girls trying to chat him up a bottle of champagne and left before any of them could even proposition him. Some of those girls throw themselves at men like him. He wasn’t interested in any of them. Not really.’ She shakes her head, turns on her heels and says, ‘I hope he’s ok.’
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I dial Eddie’s number as I run back to my car, racking my brain as to which hospital is the nearest from here.
‘Yes?’ Eddie’s tone is reluctant.
‘Ollie was found collapsed outside his apartment earlier this evening. He was attacked. Fuck, Eddie, that shove you gave him earlier wouldn’t have helped either. Find out which hospital he’s in now and help me make this right.’ I hang up with trembling fingers before I can say something I’ll never be able to take back.
ChapterThirty
OLLIE
The room is quiet, bar the sound of an intermittent beep to my right. My head feels like it’s been hit with a sledgehammer. Prising my eyes open to squint around the room, I’m blinded by the fluorescent lights. Hospital equipment surrounds me.
A figure stands with his back to me, staring thoughtfully out the window into the darkness below. I’d recognise his outline anywhere. It’s my brother. My actual brother. He’s the last person I’d have imagined waking up to. The last thing I remember is talking to Anita on the phone before those guys approached me. I wince at the memory. Out of everything they took from me, I’m most annoyed about my phone. I need to know Amy is ok.
What rotten luck, attacked twice in the same day in two separate incidents. Luke begins to slowly turn and I squeeze my eyes shut again, not quite ready to make it a third. Footsteps approach the bed but I pretend I’m still out cold, buying myself a little time to analyse things. At least there’s nothing wrong with my memory. The conversation with Anita is as clear as day.
‘If you love this girl make sure she knows she’s your number one. Go and fight for her, like I couldn’t fight for you. I won’t call you again.’
The sound of Luke slumping into the chair next to me interrupts my thoughts. I concentrate on keeping my breath even as if I’m unconscious, nowhere near ready to deal with another confrontation today. His low voice cuts through the air between us.
