‘I will love her for the rest of my life.’ Ollie holds Eddie’s gaze long enough to look sincere.
Pride swells in my chest. Even my mother gasps, her smile reveals her delight in finally being able to marry off her youngest child. A warmth spreads tingling through me. With Ollie by my side I feel strong, like I can take on the world twice over.
Eddie’s hand slaps the table again in a loud pummelling motion that sets it vibrating across the floor. ‘Is this a rebound thing? Because Anita is marrying Luke? You couldn’t save her from your own brother’s wandering hands so now your hands have wandered all over my little sister. You never wanted to get married when she asked you, now all of a sudden you want to marry a girl you barely know – my baby sister?’
My heart plummets to my feet. A gasp bursts from my lips with the breath I didn’t know I was holding. Anita was supposed to be in the past, yet she’s marrying his brother? Why wouldn’t he tell me? If she’s going to be part of his family then she’s very much in the future. His future, and mine if we’re ever going to truly have one. My skin grows cold. Nausea sets in.
Is all Ollie’s talk of a whirlwind wedding because he’s on the rebound? Because he wants to get some ex back by moving on the same way she did? Have I been duped this entire time? One of Geri’s favourite cliches runs through my head: if something’s too good to be true, it usually is.
Once again, standing in front of Ollie Quinn, I can’t find any words to say. This time it’s not because I’m attracted to him, it’s because I’m disgusted. It’s ok though, because Eddie’s doing plenty of talking for both of us.
‘Did you ever get over Anita at all?’ Eddie asks in a low voice. ‘Or are you using my sister to plug the void?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. I love your sister. I want to marry her because she’s the most decent, caring, loving human I’ve ever met. It has nothing to do with Anita. Or Luke. Or you.’
Ollie tries to pull me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist, but I resist, feet rooted to the spot as I struggle to digest this new information.
Finally finding my voice, I turn to him with narrowing eyes and ask the question that’s consuming me. ‘Why didn’t you tell me Anita is engaged to your brother?’ He had plenty of chances. The endless hours we’d spent lying in bed talking about everything and nothing over the past six months. There’s no excuse.
‘Because he knows it’s about as morally correct as him telling me he’s shagging my sister,’ Eddie yells and bangs the table again.
‘I was going to tell you that night in The Sheraton when she rang but then Eddie came back and we got interrupted.’
‘Convenient.’ Eddie crosses his arms over his chest, probably to stop him lashing out again. The table will only take so much abuse. His fingers literally twitch across his torso.
‘You were the one that said you can’t help who you fall for. You can’t fight fate,’ Ollie says and Eddie’s fist slams against the table so hard one of its legs cracks. It sways and Matthew shoves his stick under it, eying it warily.
‘You should have told me.’ My voice is choked with emotion.
He might not have picked Eddie over me, but not disclosing that his ex is going to be permanently part of his life feels like he’s choosingherover me. And that hurts even more than if he’d have chosen my brother.
‘Go, Ollie. I need to get my head around this.’ My family nod in agreement. Mam murmurs something indistinguishable to Dad.
‘Amy, don’t do this, please.’
‘You heard her, she’d like you to leave.’ Eddie’s voice is menacing. ‘Don’t give me the chance to make you.’
Ollie stands, glancing back at me helplessly. His anguished expression rips at my insides but I need time to process.
‘Call me later.’ He walks out.
ChapterTwenty-Eight
OLLIE
Trudging round the streets of Dublin has done nothing to work off the angst of Eddie’s revelation to Amy. I should have told her, like I should have told him about our relationship. When did I become the kind of person that snuck around behind everyone’s backs?
Actually now I think about it, I’ve always snuck around, primarily because Anita never wanted to be in the limelight. She didn’t want to be seen publicly with me, didn’t want the stress of the paparazzi hounding her, or the tabloids writing shit about her. Which is fair enough. Though when you love someone enough, the way I love Amy, you want to shout it from the rooftops. Hell, if Amy would only forgive me I’d ring the tabloids myself and tell them that we’re together, only too proud to call her mine.
It was Amy who demanded secrecy. Like it was Anita who demanded it too. Perhaps it’s me? Maybe they’re ashamed to be seen with me, the way Luke used to be ashamed of me when I was younger. For a hefty rugby player with a skinhead, I’m worse than a girl. My emotions consume me. The truth is, they always have done. For all Luke’s bullying, he was right. I am sensitive. I crave affection.
And not just any affection. Affection from the woman I love. The one that isn’t currently talking to me. I’m a fucking joke.
My phone rings in my pocket and I yank it out in such a hurry that it falls to the pavement. I’m silently willing it to be Amy, hoping she’s ready to talk about this instead of shutting me out. With Eddie in her ear now telling her god knows what, I’ll be surprised if she ever forgives me. Why didn’t I tell her about Anita? Or my sexual indiscretions afterwards?
Because you’re ashamed,my brain screams at me silently.Because you’re ashamed you weren’t enough for Anita in the end. Yet your less sensitive brother was. He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be. And the only way to get over her was to blot the image of her out with others.
My brother has always belittled me. Sleeping with Anita was probably his biggest fantasy. He couldn’t take the rugby from me, but he could take her. And he did. Shame washes over me. Eddie treated me better than my own brother ever did, even asking me to be his groomsman, and this is how I’ve repaid him. Whatever he’s telling Amy about me, I probably deserve it.
