I feel lost.And for once, feeling lost isn’t welcome.
“You should know that I am considering other offers, and that the decision has become… complicated.”
“Uh-oh, glad Daisy’s here to help me persuade you, then,” he quips before gauging my seriousness.He leans toward the camera.“Of course you’re considering other offers, Dr.Blake.I’d be shocked if you weren’t.But I’d guess that none will offer you the large-scale environmental impact of the difference you can make here.”
I can’t argue his point, especially when he elaborates on their Blue Carbon Initiative and their alliance with Project River Recovery—just two of many impactful undertakings this position will afford me.
“You said in your email that I have another week to decide?”I clarify.
“Yes, ideally, we’d like you here and acclimated in early August,” he answers, petting Daisy.
I promise to have my answer the following week, if not sooner.Dr.McCullum stifles his clear disappointment with a gregarious smile.“If there’s anything we can do to win you over, let me know.”
Daisy Duke gives an approving bark before we end the call.
CHAPTER41
Venus
“The aphids are back,”I say with irritation.“I’ve applied several applications of the pesticide, and they refuse to care.”
“Hmm, perhaps rain washed it away before it could be entirely effective,” Dad says calmly.“When at first you don’t succeed?—”
“Try again.I know.”
“Venus, I sense some distress.”He peers into his laptop camera, as if he might reach through it and feel my forehead for a fever.He’s sitting on a rustic picnic table outside a quaint pub in Oxford.It’s late afternoon there.Sunset casts its golden glow through the weeping willow trees behind him and reflects an amber hue from his half-drunk pint.Wren and Christie wander along the banks of the River Thames behind him.My Friday morning call began with Dad and Christie introducing Wren, Christie’s daughter, before gushing over Henry’s romantic gesture, a discussion that strangely diverted into the deliciousness of fish and chips and mushy peas.Though I don’t care much for the delicacy, it made me long for travel again.
I didn’t engage in much conversation with Wren, though she’s intriguing, or Christie, because, frankly, I don’t feel like talking.I want a solution to my problem—that’s all.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he implores me.
I groan.“If I don’t contain the aphids, they could spread through the entire garden.”
He shakes his head.“Apply once this afternoon and once more in the morning—that should do the trick.Now, tell me what’sreallywrong.”
My eyes narrow.“I-I-I can’t be trusted to make good decisions.”
“I trust you completely.”He looks offended, his bushy blond and gray eyebrows pinch behind his glasses as his head pulls back.“You’re taking excellent care of the garden.What do you mean?”
“I suppose I mean that I don’t trustmyself.”My head lands against the table with a thump.“I don’t know what to do, Dad.”
“Hmm, explain your dilemma, and I’ll offer my opinion, if you want it,” he urges.
I think about Henry’s advice and nod.“Henry is permanently affixed here, and I’ve been offered an incredible opportunity in New Zealand.Accepting it means five more years away, and though Henry says we’ll make it work, it’s too great a distance for that to be feasible.He doesn’t want me to give up the job for him, but I don’t want to be like Dr.Miner with a FaceTime family.”
“Then whatdoyou want, Venus?”he asks, rubbing his chin.
“I want… to make a good decision that doesn’t hurt anyone, that’s fair to meandthose I love,” I say with frustration, “unlike last time.I want an end to this pressure thatdoesn’tmake me run.”
“Do you feel like running?”
“Yes, most of the time.”I huff, fiddling with my jewelry.
A dog barks and chases a frisbee behind him, and I realize that perhaps this isn’t the appropriate time to bring my father into my relationship conundrum.Perhaps Ivy should’ve been my go-to resource.
“It’s just…” I go on anyway.“I left Henry once.He had these plans and expectations for us that I knew I couldn’t live up to—not then.”
“And now?”he pushes.
