“Dad!Look!”Olly calls as he dances around with Pepper chasing him.
“Um, I should… let you get on with your morning.”
“Please, don’t go.We’re going to the same place.Let’s go together,” he says.
I accept his offer, and a rather blissful routine develops over the subsequent days—me, Henry, and Olly meeting each morning and going to our destinations together.We share dinners, either at his place or at the fairy house, and we talk about our days, and in quiet moments, stories from our past.It feels like an existence we were meant to live, that’s been waiting for us until we were ready to accept it.
I invite him and Dr.Kwon to visit my classroom on Thursday—a crowded event already, with twenty-four students and other guests from around campus.I must shoo visitors from Myla and Jayden’s usual seats, as they have become my assistants.Dr.Kwon and Henry slip into the back of the class at the start.
His lopsided smile brings one of my own—full and wide—as if there’s no one else in the room.
“Is she smiling?”I hear Myla whisper to Jayden, which jolts me out of it.
“We have traveled across North Carolina, ecologically speaking, examining the rarest species, their environments, and conservation efforts, and today, we finally arrive at the coastal plain and the state’s rare taxa of carnivorous plants to which I am… personally connected.”
Laughter waves across the audience, though I don’t know what’s funny.
“Next week, we’ll examine these plants in person before our final exam.”Nerves rise as I turn to the whiteboard.I grab a marker from the metal tray, knocking another over.
Jayden holds up his phone.“What’ll it be today, Dr.Blake?”
I take a cleansing breath.“Something upbeat.Thank you, Jayden.”
An energetic song soon thumps through his portable speaker.Catching Henry’s eyes once more, an exchange of smiles moves me forward.
I succeed in focusing on science rather than Henry—a feat I’ve all but mastered over the last decade, but it proves more challenging with him in the room.The class passes expeditiously, with a few slight diversions when my students ask questions.My phone chirps its usual end-of-class warning, and, upon turning around to ask if there are any questions, my audience breaks into unsolicited applause.
“Class is over,” I say, my voice raised above the noise and putting a swift end to it.
My students chuckle, as if I’m being weird.I probably am, but I don’t like the attention.
I grab two erasers to clean the board, but I’m bombarded with people who want to discuss the lesson.Myla and Jayden relieve me of the erasers and clean the board.Amid the questions and accolades, Henry moves beside me and leans in to whisper, “Incredible class, Dr.Blake,” before introducing me to Dr.Kwon, who shares her excitement for the class and Henry’s future book.Considering my abysmal teaching performance at the start of this experiment, it feels satisfying to hear such praise, especially from another educator.
Even better, it’s pleasing to hear it with Henry beside me.
After class, I retreat to Dad’s office and prepare for another meeting with Dr.McCullum.He’s emailed me about dogs in their local shelter and the housing they’re providing—a stunning cottage nestled into a lush garden with a wrap-around porch.A stained-glass cutout in the front door reminds me of the greenhouse.I’ve never had my own place before, and though I’m still debating my future, it’s difficult not to picture myself there.
Even so, I take Henry’s advice—to stop chasing an answer and wait for it to present itself.I have a little more time before summer classes end, Dad returns, and my sojourn here is over—I might as well use it.Besides, I appreciate that freeing myself mentally has allowed me to be more present with Henry and Olly.
At the correct time, Dr.McCullum blinks to life on-screen.He’s in the same leather desk chair with bookshelves behind him as last time, but he’s moved the camera to catch his companion, a cheerful-looking yellow Labrador with sparkling eyes and a studded, pink collar that readsDaisy Duke.
“No fair, Dr.McCullum,” I say with a disapproving look.
He feigns innocence.“What?I went to the shelter to take pics for you, and ended up falling for her.Do you blame me?”
“I don’t,” I say sheepishly.“But you can’t woo me with potential pets.”
“But she has a sister, Calamity Jane,” he says, grinning.“Looks just like her.”
My shoulders slump, and his devious expression relents.
“Then, how can I woo you?Tell me,” he says, his voice lower.
I want to answer him with a definitive list, but all I can think of is being at sea, staring into the murky, choppy water, desperate to dive in.And then, that moment, when I hit the surface, and everything falls away.
That’s what New Zealand would be.Another ship.Another ocean.Another escape.This time, with a dog, a cottage, and a partner who values me as a scientist.I’m drawn to that life.It’s what I’ve wanted.It’s what I’m used to.
I’m not used to this existence with Henry, regardless of how much I want it.
