My head feels exactly the right level of buzzed to distract me from the shit show that is my life and allow me to have a little bit of fun. Maybe I'm high from Alec confessing that he's into me, or maybe I'm living in straight delusional land in my best attempt to stay sane right now.
Either way, I'm a hell of a lot less stressed than I was before I got here, and I'm going to ride this wave until it crashes to shore.
"Umm," June says while weaving her arm through mine. "Where's your date?"
I throw my thumb back at Alec. "Over there talking to lover boy."
She clears her throat and tugs me toward our seats. "You know that’s not who I mean."
"Head cold." I catch my lie all too late. "No, sorry, stomach bug. I don't know. He’s sick and couldn't make it." Although in reality, I saw his texts on my screen when I pulled up the tickets. He made it. He was just late, but by that point, I had already given his spot to Alec, and I'd much rather be here with him anyway. I don’t need to share any of this information with June, though.
"Well, fuck." June stops in front of our seats and faces me. "I'm sorry. I picked a dud."
I shrug and fumble to find the straw in my drink to take a sip. "No biggie, babe. Let's watch..." I spin around to the stadium, my brain totally spacing on why we're even here. "Baseball."
June sighs and glances over to where Simon and Alec still stand. "I'm going to be really honest; I don't know shit about baseball."
I laugh. "Me either." I motion to the little area we're in. "This is cute. Was itexpensive?" I take in the private but not too secluded area we're in, only the four seats with a barrier sort of around it so no one else can come or go but still open enough to not be totally excluded.
"Define expensive," June mutters. "Could I afford it a couple years ago, uh, no. But I also could barely afford the bare necessities to survive."
"What's it like?" I ask her, my lips hovering on the tip of the straw.
"What?"
"Beingrichrich. You know. You could have anything you wanted. Like a houseboat or something."
June raises a brow at me. "A houseboat? Cor, how drunk are you?"
I hold my cup up to her. "I've had half a drink." But damn is it strong, the more I drink the less it tastes like alcohol and the more it tastes like a good time.
The guys approach, Simon first and Alec trailing behind, an unknown expression on his face—it could be fear or annoyance or maybe the realization that coming with me tonight wasn't worth the earful Simon no doubt just gave him.
"My love." Simon smiles and reaches for June, pressing his lips to hers. "I am so grateful for you, you know that?" He throws his arm over her shoulder and tugs her close, the two of them looking out onto the field.
That nauseating feeling washes back over me at their affection.
"Hey," I say to Alec, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward me. I weave my hand up under his biceps and stand there, his strong body giving mine the ability to remain upright.
I'm tired.
Tired of pretending I'm okay. Tired of pretending that my life hasn't gone to shit. Tired of the ticking fucking clock.
"You okay?" Alec asks me, his gaze darting to the nearly empty drink in my hand.
"Oh, I'm great. What about you?" I lower my voice as quietly as possible. "I see you're still alive."
The crowd cheers, the baseball players doing the baseball thing, and I'm unsure if it's good or bad for the team Simon is rooting for.
"Yeah." Alec laughs dryly. "For now."
I pat his arm. "It'll be fine."
Simon glances over his shoulder at us and the desire to punch him in his pretty face grows fierce.
"Do you want something to eat?" Alec reaches up to rub his hand along mine.
It's so strange that he's here, touching me like this. I've wanted it for so fucking long and now that I finally have it, I regret not pushing for it sooner. We've lost so much time, and there's only a little bit left.
