"What time is it?" Silver releases me and rolls over, blindly grasping for what I can only imagine is his phone.
I lay my hand on his stomach and let his warmth soak into my fingertips. Maybe if I memorize every inch of him, it will somehow make leaving him easier.
"Shit." Silver blinks a few times and thumbs through whatever is on his screen. "Fuck." He sits up in a hurry, careful not to drop me too aggressively onto the pillow beneath me.
"Is everything okay?" I prop myself up onto my elbow.
"I fucked up." Silver swivels his legs off the edge of the bed but stops himself and leans back to kiss my forehead. "I have, uh, a work thing I need to do." He plops onto the ground and reaches for the closest pair of dark pants and puts them on in a rush. "I have to go, but it's still early, go back to sleep. Or don't, I mean, do whatever you want. There's food in the fridge, and I don't doubt you can figure the espresso machine out. Make yourself at home, snoop around, I don't care." He slides a shirt over his head and then darts into the bathroom for a minute.
When he comes out, he's somehow much more put together. His hair isn't quite as disheveled and his beard is tamer. He almost looks...happy. It warms my heart to watch him, and maybe in another universe, this could have been us, staying up late twisted in bedsheets and him going off and doing God knows what for work. Only, his work involves covering up dead bodies and getting away with various criminal acts, and the clock is ticking on when I will belong to another man.
"You're cute when you're in a hurry," I tell him.
He sighs and shakes his head. "You have no idea how badly I want to say fuck work and get back into that bed with you."
I pat the sheets and glance up at him.
"Angel, you're going to ruin me." Silver leans down and gives me one final kiss on the lips. "I'm serious. Whatever you want. My home is your home, okay?"
"Okay." I lie back on the pillow and tug the sheets up to my neck with a stupid grin on my face. "I'll be here."
"Right where you belong." Silver glances down at his phone and then at me. "I've really got to go this time."
"Get out of here, go," I say while shooing him, only everything in me is begging him to stay just a little bit longer. To hold me. To kiss me. To keep me safe. But that won't last. Nothing good ever does.
So, when he leaves, I lie there in silence for two whole minutes before I exhale and grab onto my own phone and see what I missed while I was in paradise.
A text from the guy who's supposed to go to the baseball game with me saying he's excited tohang out. One from June that's reminding me of said game. Two missed calls from an unknown number. And a voicemail.
I click it and wait for it to load, my pulse picking up without even hearing a single thing.
"Where are you, Pet?" Ricardo's disgusting voice leeches through my speaker. "I hope you haven't forgotten about our little agreement. Sure would be a shame if something happened to Ma or Pa." He clears his throat and hacks a bit. "I trust that you'll follow through with your end of the bargain. In the meantime, you'd do best with answering your fucking phone when I call."
The line disconnects, and nausea rolls through me at his demands. I rid myself of one creep and here's another, just waiting in the wings to do with me as he pleases.
Part of me wants to confide in Silver and see if he's able to help me out of this situation, but if Silver reacted the way he did about Joshua, there's no telling what he would do to Ricardo if he knew the truth. And because I care about Silver, I can't be foolish enough to involve him in something that could put his life in danger—more danger than his job already does.
He might be willing to slit Ricardo's throat, but what would happen to him after? What would happen to my parents? Those are risks I'm not willing to take. If I'm going to make it out of this, I'm going to have to figure it out myself, and so far, the only way out is through.
Even if it means having Ricardo's fucking baby.
A notification buzzes on my phone, and I'm grateful that’s all it is and not a ringing of a call. It feels wrong to answer Ricardo while I'm still at Silver's place, like I'm somehow putting him in danger just by being here.
I glance at the screen and see an Instagram message pop up. I click on it immediately to bring up the chat screen.
Alec: Hey, guess who's driving you guys to the game?
Me: No way, really?
Dots appear immediately.
Alec: Yep! Simon has no idea. He's going to be pissed and I love it.
I chuckle and forget for a second where my last train of thought was.
Dots appear again, and it's strange how my heart patters in anticipation for whatever it is he's about to say.
Is it fucked up for me to be talking to Alec while still in Silver's bed? We just hooked up, but it's not like we're boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. Still, I dislike how it doesn't sit right in my gut.
