“Yeah, you’ve pissed them off,” she agreed. “And I have to ride back with them.”
“We've got lots of extra bedrooms. Stay here and we can give you a ride back to the ship when we're ready to go,” Max suggested. Rick and the head guard had stopped shouting and were now huddled over a computer display. Max assumed they were arguing about the exact fine Rick owed for the false alarm. Max worried about their finances for the half-second it took him to realize they must have access to Einstein’s accounts now. He had, after all, wanted Rick to be able to take over his life.
“And how long might that take?” Dee asked. “I’ve tried to be patient and understanding, but I want to get back to my family.”
Max grimaced as he watched Rick take the car door and slam it shut before ripping it open and slamming it shut and ripping it open and slamming it shut. Rick was not handling this well. The guards backed away warily, though, so hopefully his reputation for being a planetary hero would stop any charges for being... batshit crazy. He slammed the door two more times. “It might be a few days,” Max said.
Dee watched the scene, her mouth hanging open. Then she glared at him.
“I’ll encourage him to leave soon.”
Dee blew out a long breath. “With your father-in-law drama, I thought he’d be anxious to leave.”
“Things are... complicated.” Max was grateful that the guards were still here because it saved him from having to say more.
“I get it. I have a sister-in-law that I share a deep loathing for. I’m fairly sure each of us thinks that the other is responsible for everything from awkward Christmas dinners to global warming.Families are complicated and sometimes a tiny bit evil. I know I can be a little evil after my fourth eggnog when her face makes me so angry I want to punch her.” She looked to Rick as he launched a verbal tirade against the main guard. A lack of neurons to connect the requisite number of eyes to the brain stem featured heavily, and the guards who weren’t being attacked were evenly divided into the ones spinning with delight at the show and those who had gone curly-fries in horror at watching their boss get verbally eviscerated.
Max shook his head. “It’s not like that. No one thinks Einstein is evil.” Not anymore, they didn’t anyway, not since they’d discovered the truth. Max felt a little guilty that he had ever described Einstein that way.
She frowned at him. “Remember that I have a family back home waiting for me and I would like to get to earth before my hair turns gray.”
Max nodded. “Stay here. The kids can show you some advanced tech, and I will work on getting Rick back on schedule.” He winced as Rick’s volume increased. The guards didn’t deserve this sort of scolding. Or terror. Rick was terrorizing the guards. Max braced himself to sail into battle.
He strode over to the car with as much confidence as he could muster. Rick must have run out of insults because he was repeating the description of the guard’s lacking brain cells. Max caught one of Rick's smaller tentacles, wrapping it around his arm before tightening his hold. “Let's go back inside,” Max suggested.
The guards were cheered by that suggestion.
“Negotiating repayment,” Rick protested despite the lack of numbers in the conversation.
“Name a fair price you would pay,” Max said. Rick tried to spin, but Max held his tentacle tightly enough to stop him.
With a huff, Rick named a price that seemed rather low. However, the lead guard practically screamed “Accepted” before throwing himself into the car. It was darkly funny how the rest of the guards all rushed to the far side of the vehicle, climbing over each other to get in without having to walk past Rick. Max smiled, but then Rick shrank, his walking tentacle curling.
“I regret speaking with anger,” he said almost softly, or at least as soft as a Hidden one could speak.
“They deserved it,” Max said, pulling Rick away from the car before someone could “accidentally” drive over a few tentacles.
“They did not. My anger is for another,” Rick said softly.
Max opened his mouth to protest, but Rick wasn’t wrong. He pulled Rick toward the house and decided to pretend his husband hadn’t thrown a huge temper tantrum. “Dee will stay with us until we go back to the ship.”
Rick stopped so fast that he almost pulled Max off balance. He rotated until his largest eye was focused on Dee. “I drove away those who could return you to the ship.” His walking tentacle curled more. This was the Rick that Max knew and loved, complete with a deep well of guilt for things that weren’t his fault.
“It would have been a miserable ride back to the city,” Dee said easily. “I don’t mind staying here if your father doesn’t mind.”
Max winced, and Rick’s walking tentacle curled all the way up.
“He killed himself,” Max said softly.
Dee’s mouth fell open. “Oh.” Her voice was barely a breath as she looked from Max to Rick and back again.
“I bet the kids can find you a bedroom,” Max said.
Dee shook her head like she was coming out of the water. “Um, yeah. I’ll go find the kids,” she said, her voice distracted. She turned toward the house, and the sun glinting off thefront door shifted enough to suggest the door had moved. Max wondered how many children had been there... watching their father lose his ever-loving mind.
She walked up the path, and Max stood with Rick until Dee disappeared inside.
“I am a terrible Einstein, abusing others out of belief that I am more important than everyone else,” he trumpeted.
