“We will find a solution together,” Max suggested. “We can tell whoever's in the car to give us an hour and we will come up with a solution we can all live with. We can all work on the legacy,” Max said.
“Agreement,” Rick bellowed. “We are unbalanced. Unbalanced is uncomfortable. Unbalanced one brings much unbalanced to me and I know discomfort of falling when unsure of gravity or buoyancy of water underneath,” Rick said, “but unbalanced is cycle of balanced and unbalanced we rebalance.”
“Rebalancing not possible. They ask questions. I give answers. They do not accept. Legacy in danger.”
“We will rebalance,” Rick said. “Unbalanced ones have strange locomotion, but method of locomotion is functional because of two walking limbs. Between us we have two walking limbs. We will rebalance. Abandon idiocy of plan.”
“Negative. Plan ensures legacy. I created you to carry forward my ideas because I could not.”
“Logical flaw. You can carry ideas.”
“Rebuttal. Damage is cumulative. Lifespan is shortened.”
“Rebuttal. Lifespan remains. I am individual. I am no longer you. If you destroy yourself, you are now unique. You now destroy uniqueness.”
“Negative. You are what I would have been without stupidity. You are my genetics and my learnings. You chose path I would have chosen if it had been open to me. You are legacy.”
“Negative. I am married to Unbalanced one. You detest unbalanced. We are individuals. You cannot destroy self without destroying individuality. Legacy requires individuality.” Rick spoke faster and faster, his words tumbling. Max was mute in the face of this horror, and Rick's tentacles were tight spirals and several clung to the edges of the portal to keep him upright enough to maintain eye contact. Otherwise he would have sunk to the floor.
“Legacy is what matters. Legacy always mattered. I never intended to deny you individuality. I only sought to set early path knowing the waters you swim will differ from the waters I swam. New waters require differentiation.”
“We may both swim waters,” Rick bellowed with such pain in his voice that it ripped at something visceral in Max's heart.
“Negative. Destruction of legacy would imply destruction of offspring and three offspring of my offspring. Offspring have not earned destruction and shame and exile. Offspring will not be shamed.” Einstein made an inarticulate cry and the machine bellowed. A new alarm sounded, and Rick issued a great cry before sinking to the floor. Max threw himself forward, wrapping his arms around his husband and holding tight as the machine cycled through whirrs and thumps until the alarm stopped and a series of green lights and clicks filled the silence.
Max didn't know if he was the one shaking or if it was Rick or if Hidden ones even shook in response to emotional trauma.They lay tangled on the floor as more and more lights in the room flipped to greens and blues. “We were individuals,” Rick said softly and miserably.
“Yes, you were,” Max said, but for the first time since he had met Einstein, he saw some of Rick’s kindness and love and sweetness and stupidity in his father-in-law. They were individuals, but they had had more in common than Max would have guessed even a few minutes earlier.
Chapter Nineteen
Max offered his best smile, but that didn’t seem to mollify the suspicious Hidden ones slowly spinning on their front driveway. “It’s a human custom,” Max said for the fourth time. “Dee can explain a honeymoon.”
“Unbalanced one Dee first raised alarm,” a guard said, his tentacles stiff with aggravation.
“We should have warned her we would take a honeymoon now,” Max admitted. “That was our fault. We are sorry that our mating drama has caused you to go out of your way.” Max attempted a charming smile. None of them seemed charmed. If anything, the tentacles were getting stiffer, and a few of the silent guards grumbled wordlessly.
Max glanced over to find Dee giving him a skeptical glare, which was fair. Max was lying his ass off. At least he could lie. Lies were to Rick what kryptonite was to Superman. Unfortunately, Max wasn’t good enough to fool Dee, not that he wanted to. He appreciated Dee’s suspicious mind far too much for that. Einstein had secured all the doors and retooled any DNA-based locks, which were the norm on this planet. However, he hadn’t considered that humans looked out for each other, and when one person disappeared without warning or contact, another might make increasingly panicked calls to the authorities demanding a wellness check.
“Schedules were disrupted,” a guard with red tinted tentacles protested. “Communications rejected. Exceptionally disruptive.” After those brusque words, the guard lurched forward.
Apparently that was where Rick lost his patience because he issued an enormous belch and curled his walking tentacle enough to be able to slam several of his longest arm tentacles on the floor. “I compensate for disruption. You will leave and stop interfering with honeymoon. Unbalanced one ritual of mating. I will inflict misery equal to misery I endure. I will multiply misery. Quantum exponential growth of misery in this!”
Max backed away from the raw fury pouring from Rick, and so did the guards. Max might have a sweet and loving husband, but there was a temper in there. Rick charged straight at the now clumped guards forcing them to tumble out of his way.
“I assign compensation now. You leave shortly after now.” Rick didn't stop until he was at their car and pulling at the doors which refused to slide.
“Negotiate compensation,” the lead guard said before he moved to Rick’s side. The other guards retreated to the far side of the car. Smart octopus. Max loved his husband, but even he wouldn’t go near those flailing tentacles.
Max moved to the side and whispered loud enough for Dee to hear, “Thank you for the rescue.”
She studied him as though expecting to find some hidden injury. “Is everything all right now?”
“All right would be a stretch,” Max admitted, “but the situation has been downgraded from active engagement to family drama.” Max’s stomach flipped at the disrespect he was offering Einstein with that glib answer, but he didn't know how else to reassure Dee. She had provided a timely rescue, but she would never understand the horror of what happened in the house. Max couldn't wrap his mind around it. “I can’t talk about it,” he finished.
“I'm not looking for you to hang the laundry on the front porch,” Dee said, which made Max frown. He’d never heard the metaphor, but he also wouldn’t call talking to Dee putting hisbusiness on the front porch. She was a friend. “Promise me that everything is fine now.”
“Nothing is dangerous now,” Max said. “Other than the guards who seem to be fairly angry at being called out here.”
