Sean curled his hands over Alexei’s shoulders, fingers pulling at the thin fabric of his long-sleeved shirt. “What doyoumean?”
Alexei licked at the warm skin beneath his questing mouth before he lifted his head to look down at Sean. He settled his hands on Sean’s hips, thumbs moving in slow circles over the solid body in his arms. “Want move in? I not say no. Pick out onetogether.”
“Jamie isn’t buying us an apartment,Lyosha.”
Alexei thought about the handful of hours Jamie had stolen to sit by his bedside with a guilty look in his eyes before Kyle dragged their captain away to clearhishead.
“Make him feel better,” Alexei said with a shrug. “Let him buy. Will ask atThanksgiving.”
Sean might have kept arguing against getting a free apartment, but Alexei was tired and he had Seanhere. Shaking his head, Alexei kissed the words away with soft touches of his lips. Sean gave up the argument with a sigh, eventually pulling back to study Alexei’s face for nearly half a minute before he had to look away and take a deepbreath.
“You’re impossible,” Seanmuttered.
“Ambest.”
Sean bit his lip, and Alexei raised a hand to tug it free from unbroken teeth. He ran his thumb gently over the seam of Sean’s mouth, his touch lingering over the memory of the ugly tear that had deeply split Sean’s lip in that undergroundhellhole.
“Your knee?” Sean asked. “Gracie told me they had toamputate…”
His voice trailed off, some of the tension returning to his body. Alexei pulled him a fraction of an inchcloser.
“Am healed, Senya. Want to see? Needtosee?”
After a long moment, Sean nodded. Alexei snagged his hand and led him silently to the bedroom, glancing over his shoulder every few seconds to make sure Sean was okay with following. Once inside the bedroom, Alexei undid his jeans and stripped them off, but didn’t remove anything else. He stood there in front of Sean, half-naked, and gestured at hisleftleg.
“Look,” he said quietly. “Amwhole.”
The words felt a little bit like a lie on his tongue, but Alexei refused to take them back. Sean’s gaze slid rapidly down his body before fixating on his left knee. Alexei looked down at his leg as well, curling his bare toes in thecarpet.
The regen regime had used his body’s own stem cells to regrow his leg at a rapid rate. The pattern of it set in his DNA meant it looked exactly like it had before Cillian took a hammer to his knee. Gracie had applied skin dyes to his left leg to match his right, because while a regen regime could regrow limbs and organs, it couldn’t replicate the marks of thirty years ofliving.
Sean took a hesitant step forward before his mouth firmed and he closed the distance between them. He flattened his hand over Alexei’s chest, fingers spreading over his heart. Alexei held his breath, even if he couldn’t hold his heartbeat still. Sean’s hand trailed down his chest and he followed after it, going to his knees in front ofAlexei.
Alexei stared down at him, gently running his hand through Sean’s messy, dark hair. Sean wouldn’t look at him, but his touch felt like a brand Alexei would always accept. He closed his eyes, knowing he would always be safe in Sean’shands.
The careful, gentle kiss Sean pressed to his left knee went a long way to exorcising the remembered weight of the hammer shattering bone. Even in the dark of his own making, Sean’s touch could never feel likeCillian’s.
“I’m sorry,” Sean murmured, resting his forehead against Alexei’s left thigh, one hand loosely holding hisankle.
Alexei opened his eyes, breathing in slowly through his nose. “Not be sorry. Not yourfault.”
Sean didn’t argue, and Alexei let it lie. Sighing softly, he coaxed Sean to his feet and tumbled them both into bed. Sean’s shoes were still on and he was in no hurry to remove his clothes, but Alexei didn’t care. Sex would come later, when they were ready for it again. Right now, Alexei was still relearning touch, as was Sean, and he didn’t need a shrink to tell him that it would take time. That the flashbacks weren’t going to just disappear now that Cillian was dead. PTSD didn’t workthatway.
Alexei leaned against the headboard, having tucked a pillow behind his back, and tugged at Sean until he settled on his lap. Sean went reluctantly until Alexei shookhishead.
“Not do anything,” hepromised.
Being able to hold Sean, to touch him—keep him close and warm andsafe—that was all Alexei wanted right now. Sean seemed to want that too, because the tension in his body gradually faded away. His brown eyes flickered up to Alexei’s face for a few seconds before refocusing on the rest of him. Sean settled his hand against Alexei’s right forearm, gently stroking the regrown skinthere.
Alexei cupped Sean’s jaw, tilting his head up, drinking his fill of a face unmarred by bruises and blood. The helplessness, the rage, he’d felt in that room when Cillian had laid hands on Sean, still lingered somewhere deep, wrapped with a guilt he’d be hard-pressed to everdislodge.
“Glad you here with me,Senya.”
Sean leaned into Alexei’s touch without hesitation. “I’m glad, too,Lyosha.”
For several minutes, they remained cocooned in a warmth of shared trust, gently exchanging touches they didn’t flinch from, when they’d flinched from so many others. The intimacy between them was something Alexei had never had with a previous lover, and it reinforced everything he feltforSean.
“Love you,” Alexei murmured, unable to keep the words to himself anylonger.
