“He said that too! Just that he was the wrong person to ask about you.”
There you go.
“You’re not shy, are you?” I smirked.
He smiled and shook his head. “Life’s too short for shyness, and I’m getting old fast.”
I felt my forehead wrinkle. “Are you even twenty-five?”
He sat up straighter and puffed out his chest. “I’m twenty-eight.”
Ah. Well. Still very young in the eyes of someone who cruised by forty a couple years ago.
A few hours later
Mclean
Nathan Riley
Part of me wanted to ask right now what’d been wrong with the Little who’d so clearly shown interest in Ash tonight. The other part…had evidently decided that I was going to sit here in the car on the way home and stew in silence.
I hadn’t planned on attending Ash’s demo, but since it’d been closed to the public and only open for fear-players, they’d opted for a demo room on the second floor… So close to the rope dojo. I’d snuck in during a break. I’d seen him on a small platform with the young man he’d introduced at dinner.
Little Erik had been super excited to be Ash’s test subject in front of all those Tops.
For a short minute, I’d been flooded with hope, anticipation, nerves, and worries. I’d started thinking about boundaries and possibilities—and my reaction to seeing Ash and Erik banter together had been so strong that I couldn’t help but feel scared of the resignation and emptiness that were left behind once I realized Ash wasn’t going to do anything about this opportunity.
When the demo had been over, Ash had thanked Erik, kissed the top of his head, and left the guy with Greer and KC.
I had reached the stage where I was willing to explore the option of Ash seeing a Little on his own. Without me involved. Because that would be one factor that could be taken out of the equation; as in the potential play partner needing to have good chemistry with me as well. I didn’t fucking care anymore. I didn’t have to be there. It was Ash’s core kink, not mine.
“How did the suspension session go?” he asked. “You’re too quiet for my liking, and I need you in a good mood the second we go to bed.”
Jesus.
I didn’t need to be a psychologist to understand he’d built up some needs from the role he’d shouldered tonight. I’d bet my career on the fact that he’d gotten another too-small taste of the Daddy Dom lifestyle.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we haven’t fucked in almost a week,” he mentioned. “That’s unlike us.”
I had noticed.
Even worse, we used to shower together at least four or five times a week. Mainly for the intimacy and having a moment that was just ours. Ten minutes of mending fences, taking the edge off, and catching up.
I glanced over at him in the darkness as unease spread in my chest, and it dawned on me that we had actual problems in our marriage. But it was confusing and…a side of me didn’t want to admit it, because nothing was wrong with our feelings or level of commitment. Ash was the love of my life, and I felt it every damn day. I loved him so much. I loved seeing him at the end of the day. I loved spending time with him. We could still make time fly like nobody else. He was my best friend.
Something big was brewing, though. And I worried that this conflict between us was already too infected. I mean, I was reluctant to ask him about Erik because I knew the reaction I’d get. He’d go on the defensive and get angry.
“What’re you thinkin’ so hard on?” he asked, squeezing my thigh.
“You.”
He smiled. “I like where this is going.”
“No, you don’t.” I had to say something. I couldn’t suppress it forever. “Erik was interested in you, Ash.”
As I’d predicted, he withdrew. His hand disappeared, his expression shuttered, he gripped the wheel a little tighter, and his jaw ticked with tension.
I took a breath and braced myself.
