Me: Thank you.
Levi: That’s my girl.
My insides light up at the praise. No matter how wrong it might be on the surface, my body hasn’t gotten the memo. The man with the smoldering looks called me his girl. Regardlessof what shape I’m in, it still feels good. Like a mission accomplished. Like a step into my old life.
But at the same time, that’s the rub. I might never have my old life back. At least my old self.
I tuck my phone into my pocket and place the chocolate-covered strawberries in the fridge. I leave the basket as it is, setting it on the dining room table, and then carry the box of chocolates back to my room.
There, I’ll tell Raeann and Micah my parents sent me flowers.
They already warned me off Levi before, so I won’t get myself—or him—in trouble by saying I saw him at the coffee shop, or that he sent me a nice gift basket.
I get comfy in the bed and pull the phone back out.
Me: This should be our little secret.
Levi: You read my mind. What your wardens don’t know won’t hurt them.
I snort-laugh. It seems like they are sometimes, but it’s coming from a place of love. I would do anything for that girl, and vice versa. It just so happens that I’m the one who needs something right now.
That doesn’t mean I have to like my situation, though.
Levi: Don’t change your wallpaper either. I’m a sexy bitch.
Me: There’s that ego again.
Levi: Send me a selfie so I can change mine.
Me: Are you crazy? I’m hardly camera ready. I look like a depressed teenager.
Levi: I think you’re beautiful.
I smile but type out an unfazed response anyway.
Me: You should get your eyes checked.
Levi: I have perfect vision. The team doc checks me twice per year. How else do you think I see those touchdown passes coming?
Me: Then your near-sighted vision is way off.
Levi: It’s okay. I took one of you today when you weren’t looking.
He sends through an image, and my eyes bulge out of my head. It’s me taking a huge bite of muffin. It’s the most unflattering picture I’ve ever seen.
Me: Get the fuck out of here with that.
Levi: Setting as wallpaper now. 3-2-
Me: I hate you.
Levi: Stop talking dirty to me. I’m a PBS kid.
A laugh bubbles all the way up from my stomach. It comes out so fast and hard it surprises me. It’s the biggest laugh I’ve had since the fire.
It feels good. Freeing. Like I’ve kept all this uncertainty and anger inside me and I’m letting it out.
I’ll let him have that pic. It’s awful, but if he’s staring at that every day, then he really isn’t interested in me like that. We can be friends. My little peek into the outside world that isn’t best friend sanctioned because the universe knows I need levity.
